The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received

The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received March 6, 2019

What You Look For Is What You’ll Find

The event volunteer continued: “I loved the stage when my kids were small, and I love the teenage stage even more. Sure, there are challenges, but there are challenges in every stage. Every season with my kids has been better than the one before. I think that is what we’re supposed to expect.”

She then shared a belief that I have since officially studied and have seen over and over again in our research (and in neuroscience): what we expect is what we will look for, and what we look for is what we will find. If we expect difficulties (terrible twos, threenagers, difficult tweens, disrespectful and moody teens, etc.), those are what we will notice—and probably overreact to!

She said, “I would urge you to look forward to every season of parenting, so you enjoy the blessings of each one, rather than getting hung up on the challenges.”


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