How You See Something Determines How You Handle Something
When Jeff and I started looking at parenting this way, suddenly, we had so much more peace. We viewed the disrespect that arose (and yes, it still did happen at times!) as what it actually was: isolated occurrences, rather than as a systemic pattern of behavior or character flaw that needed to be strongly addressed.
Although we wouldn’t let poor behavior slide, we were determined to address it with calmness, humor, and logic instead of highly charged emotion. (And let me tell you, if we hadn’t decided to view these as one-off incidents, there would have been some highly charged emotion from my side!) Then because we didn’t jump all over her, our daughter was more willing to listen to what we had to say.
We still had high expectations for our kids, but they were reasonable expectations. We had begun to anticipate the best—not the worst—through the various stages of their lives.
And I don’t think that ever would have happened if that one event volunteer hadn’t gently corrected my thinking.
As we journey through the seasons of our children’s lives, rather than dreading the coming stage or clinging to the current one, let’s be excited about how our kids are changing and who they’re becoming. Transforming our outlook will transform our interactions with them. Yes, they might have difficult moments, but let’s anticipate that we will not only get through those seasons, we’ll also enjoy them.
Relax, moms, and take heart—the best is yet to come!
*Excerpts taken from Shaunti’s upcoming book Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey for Moms due out April 10, 2019. Click here to pre-order your copy today!
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in Busy Life, focuses on a journey to rest even with life’s constant demands.
Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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