The Leprechaun Trap (Why Comparing Ourselves Is a Trap!)

Why Do We Get Stuck in the Comparison Trap?

The comparison trap can create a lack of peace in an instant, can’t it, ladies? There’s no end to the places we can go to see someone doing our job bigger, better, flashier . . . and with green food coloring, no less. Just take a look at the ideas on Pinterest. You can even find ideas for an apologies-in-advance goody bag for the airplane—complete with earplugs and some cash for a drink—for when you’re traveling with babies.

I’ve never been good at crafts or holiday goodies, even though I sure wish I was. It is easy to feel like everyone else is doing a better job in this department. Or even to roll my eyes at their “overzealousness.” I hear stories like Vicky’s and think, Can we all just agree to lower the bar and give busy moms a break?!

But then I think: my teenage daughter loves this kind of stuff. She volunteered for the prom committee and spent hours creating complicated, beautiful, backlit table centerpieces. It brought her joy. When she is a mom, she will probably love to create class goody bags and sneak in green food coloring on St. Patrick’s Day.

If she genuinely gets pleasure from using her creativity and gifts to decorate, celebrate, and bless others, should I deny (or make fun of) the things she’s doing? What about other moms? Maybe, just maybe, they aren’t “raising the bar” but are simply using their gifts to bless their little corner of the world. Maybe other non-crafty moms like me can accept those gifts, use our own gifts in other areas, and stop feeling “less than” simply because we don’t enjoy the same things.

So much of our mom guilt comes because we feel we “should” be like someone else. But like we tell our kids, we’re all created different! As we embrace the design and the life God has for us, peace will come. What He has gifted us with is what He asks us to bring to Him.

*Excerpts taken from Shaunti’s upcoming book, Find Peace: A 40-Day Devotional Journey for Moms due out April, 10, 2019. Pre-order your copy here!

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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her latest book, Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms, focuses on discovering biblical direction to become a woman of serenity and delight in all seasons – and have impact for generations to come.

Visit www.shaunti.com for more.