A Letter to our Teenage Daughters About How They Dress

A Letter to our Teenage Daughters About How They Dress April 10, 2019

Dear Girls,

Can we have an honest conversation about something that might be a little awkward? It’s not about sex . . . at least directly. But it is about boys and sex and what they think when they see girls, and all the images that swirl around in their brains. It’s an especially important conversation because, as I was scrolling through social media the other day, I couldn’t help but feel a burden for you when I saw picture after picture from a recent school dance—and there was one common factor in all of them.

Girls wearing short, short (short, short, short!) skirts and dresses. As in “don’t bother trying to pick up anything on the floor if you drop it” kind of outfits.

Oh, girls, I know you might not want to hear this. And I can understand why your first gut reaction may be to think, “I can wear whatever I want and it’s no one’s business but my own.” I used to think that, too. But I need to let you in on a few discoveries I made when I interviewed thousands of men and teenage boys for my books For Women Only and For Young Women Only. And I think the results might surprise you a little (or possibly A LOT!)

Ready or not, here they are:

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  • ClanSutherland

    Are you kidding with this?

    Females are NOT responsible for male THOUGHT or ACTIONS. This is how rape culture is born. MALES are responsible for their own eyes, their own thoughts and their own actions. PERIOD.

  • Olorunseun Enit’Olumo

    How about you read the article again this time slowly. What is written is far from what you are insinuating. Boys and men are responsible for how they allow their thoughts to wander. All I read Shaunti wrote here is there is a difference between been dressing to draw attention and dressing smart and pretty. Being smart and pretty does not mean one has to expose too much skin. See this two videos:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9WZFeA4FzI
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZsGpWJmos