When A Man Interprets What He Hears As Criticism, He Feels Inadequate And Gets Angry.
So when we ask why he’s going down Main Street, he hears: “I’ve thought it through and decided you’re an idiot for going this way.” In his mind, he was trying his best to get around a challenging situation, and make you happy by getting the two of you to dinner with friends on time—and you’re saying that he utterly failed. He feels inadequate, stupid and humiliated. So he gets angry (a man’s signal of feeling inadequate) and stops talking.
You notice that he seems a bit upset, and then you get defensive. “For goodness sake,” you blurt out, in Round Two of trying to explore what is happening, “What did I say? There’s no need to get so oversensitive!” Great, he thinks, Not only am I stupid for trying to do something nice, but now I’m a jerk for not liking the fact that I’m being made to feel stupid. At that point he really shuts down. He gets that look on his face. That look that says we probably won’t be having a nice evening together at the restaurant.
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