Follow This One Simple Rule to Improve Your Relationship

Communicate With Your Spouse In An Affirming, Loving Way.

So either wait and see what happens (which he will deeply appreciate), or, if you truly need to say something, pause and be sure you’re saying it in a way that will limit the chance of being perceived as criticizing him. One good option: start with affirmation, and explain that the reason you’re saying anything is that you’re troubled. “Honey, I know you usually avoid this street because of all the stop lights. I’m just a bit anxious about being there on time.” 

As one man explained to me, “If you can help me understand the cost to you in this choice I’ve made, it makes me much more willing to be open to suggestions or questions. Because then it isn’t criticism. It’s explaining that you’re anxious—and then I can help solve that for you.” 

If you want to build a different habit, the best method is to practice catching yourself before you say things that could be seen as negative, and say affirming things instead. Consider taking the 30-Day Kindness Challenge, which will help you do exactly that. 

To pursue your goal of a healthier and happier marriage, learn to use the pause. In the small space between impulse and action, make the choice to communicate with your spouse in an affirming, loving way. Following that one simple rule can have a powerfully positive impact on your relationship this year—and always.

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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her latest book, Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms, focuses on discovering biblical direction to become a woman of serenity and delight in all seasons – and have impact for generations to come.

Visit www.shaunti.com for more.