Unity Builder #1: Be Self-Aware
We all have a sneaky tendency to resist being one when it comes to money. We kinda just want to do what we want to do, right?
The best way to counter this inclination is to catch it when it crops up –and willing to admit it! For example, when I pull into the garage with more purchases from Costco than Jeff was expecting and see his car isn’t there, I feel relieved.
Um… why?!
I have to be willing to see my relief for what it is: a chance to avoid confessing to Jeff that I got that extra little space heater or that bag that was on such a good sale, even though I’d promised to cut down on spending. As much as I would like to avoid it, I have to be willing to be fully transparent with this person I joined my life to – and tell him I made a judgement call but I’m totally willing to return those things if he strongly disagrees. And on the other side of things, when Jeff is tempted to “play the martyr” by saying, “since you overspent, I just won’t go to the eye doctor, even though I need new glasses,” he has to be willing to recognize his own behavior for what it is: an attempt to control things and “punish” me for making those purchases.
Fighting both our tendencies towards separation instead of togetherness is a crucial first step.
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