Unity Buster #3: Lack of trust
Most of us would probably say, “of course I trust my spouse!” After all, almost everyone is pretty confident their spouse will not embezzle the marital assets and leave town. But there are sneakier, subtler ways that, when it comes to money, we may not actually trust our partner, even if we “feel” like we trust him or her.
For example, one woman we interviewed didn’t trust her husband’s financial willpower: “I still get nervous. Justin isn’t a crazy spender, but he isn’t nearly as strict about sticking to our budget like I am.” Others may not trust that their spouse will understand their need to purchase something, restricting their freedom to enjoy life. And some people go into marriage not even trusting that the marriage itself will survive, necessitating (in their minds) a separate bank account “just in case.”
All these fears are understandable—and yet the answer is not hiding in our separate corners, but actually talking through all those worries and putting a plan in place that works for both of you. (For how to talk it through, here’s a shameless plug to read the book!)