When You Exchange Gifts, Watch Out For This Conflict

Spouses Often Have Different Viewpoints Around Money

The foundational truth that we share in Thriving in Love and Money is that money issues aren’t really about the money. If they were, people who had plenty of money wouldn’t have any arguments about it! The reality is that people have very different values and beliefs about money. And when we put two unique individuals together in a marriage, those disparate values and beliefs can (surprise!) create conflict.

For Will—and maybe for you or your spouse—money is a tool to be used, not tucked away for a rainy day. He takes one day at a time, approaching expenses with the belief that the money will take care of itself as long as he and Erin work hard and are generally responsible about their finances. For Erin—and maybe for you or your spouse—delayed gratification plays a big part in her financial approach. She keeps the big picture in mind and is willing to make sacrifices today that will pay off in the long run.

It’s clear that these two financial approaches—both valid, both reasonable—are rooted in values that express an overall approach to life. So how do Erin and Will—you and your spouse—reconcile these different approaches?