Have you ever been frustrated or worried by the “snowflake” tendencies of some in the younger generation? For example, a particular type of college student who can’t hear something challenging without being “triggered,” or a young person who wants to avoid offense at all costs? Well, it turns out – not only is that worry well-founded, but we need to gain a little humility and repent of our eye-rolling! Because many of us have similar tendencies without realizing it. Which can lead to an impact many of us have been blind to: it can directly hurt our relationships.
But it turns out – the opposite tendency can dramatically help our relationships!
Not long ago, I came across some research on a little-known trait that is crucial to happy marriages: Psychological Flexibility. In some ways, it is the diametric opposite of our (subconscious) “snowflake” tendencies. A recent study from the University of Rochester reviewed 174 other studies about marriage and discovered that all happy marriages have this one thing in common. In fact, psychological flexibility appears to be key to creating all sorts of great relationships. (Parenting, workplace, in-laws, etc.)