Many girls appreciate when a guy asks her out rather than the other way around
Girls may look sure of themselves as if it doesn’t matter to them who makes the first move. But you need to know that, inside, most girls are deeply hoping a guy will be the one to reach out—even though it might not actually seem that way with the girls you know.
The girls you know may seem way too confident for that. They’re the ones who are constantly talking about match-ups: “So … do you like so-and-so?” They’re the ones who are texting you after school. If you don’t make the first move, they might.
I said that (“If you don’t make the first move, she might”) when I was speaking at a youth event not long ago and the guys’ reaction was hilarious: “Suweeet!” “And why is that a problem?!” It was clear they were all thinking, Why would I want to risk making the first move if she will just do it for me?
Here’s why. What most girls really want is a guy who is confident enough to approach them. Now, there’s no reason why a girl can’t be the one to take that first step, if she is interested and if that is authentic to her. But when you take that first step instead, it demonstrates a quality girls really admire—self-confidence. When we were researching our book For Young Men Only: A Guy’s Guide to the Alien Gender, we surveyed girls to ask them what traits they find most attractive in a guy. Self-confidence (without being cocky) was one of the top three.
Why does stepping out in self-confidence even matter? Two reasons.
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