Is Your Insecurity Making You a Controlling and Disconnected Spouse?

Solution #4: Understand your spouse’s own inner insecurities

There are a few absolutely crucial things about your man’s inner needs that you may not understand and need to learn. Perhaps most important, in For Women Only I explain just how much men want to be a good husband, but doubt themselves.

This means that your controlling behavior is actually sending a far more dangerous message, emotionally, than just signaling that his effort is going to waste. It is also telling him that he’s incompetent and inadequate, which are probably his most painful feelings by far.

Although it certainly isn’t healthy, it is understandable that a man might want to escape those painful feelings in favor of interactions with people who do think he’s adequate.

So instead of letting your own insecurity trigger his own, focus on doing the reverse: create a home that your husband would never want to escape! Men light up when they think people admire, appreciate, trust, and respect them. If you want to make your marriage thrive, show your husband that you are his biggest admirer.