The REAL Reason Money Causes Issues in Marriage

The Solution

Thankfully, as Jeff and I have discovered first-hand, there is a solution that is far simpler than we think.

Our research revealed that three actions dramatically reduce money tensions in marriage:

Step 1: Understand how you and your spouse uniquely respond to money (the “it’s not about the money” stuff).

Step 2: Then, using that knowledge, learn to talk about money with your spouse.

Step 3: Then, take the technical/budgeting steps necessary to build financial cushion.

The reason most of us have difficulty creating a working financial plan—or avoid talking about the plan to begin with—is that we’re taking actions in the wrong order. Unless you and your spouse are already on the same page about money (which two out of ten couples are), most of us simply have to be able to talk well about money before we can plan! And to talk well about money, we have to understand what is going on inside ourselves and inside our partner.

Once that happens, talking about money comes almost naturally—because each of you feel that your spouse has empathy, care, and a desire to honor what matters to you. And the kindness inherent in that approach lowers defenses that may have been up for years.