When You’ve Found “The One” Go All In

Married couples are more satisfied with their relationships.

The Pew study found that “about six-in-ten married adults (58%) say things are going very well in their marriage; 41% of cohabiters say the same about their relationship with their partner.”

My research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages found that the happiest married couples are happy to a large degree because they took—and they keep taking—the risk to go all in on their relationship. They fully invest themselves in all kinds of ways—emotionally, financially, relationally—instead of holding back to protect themselves.

One husband we interviewed said, “I honestly was a little worried about the commitment. It felt like I was jumping off a cliff. But what I found is that being intentional makes committing easy. You’re taking one step at a time, so instead of the commitment being like jumping off the cliff, it’s more like walking a staircase. And this is going to sound so sappy, but my personal experience has been that it’s the stairway to heaven, so to speak.”

That staircase of commitment creates an environment that allows—that causes—the relationship to flourish.