When You’ve Found “The One” Go All In

Commitment creates contentment.

One researcher’s study inspired him to make a real-life commitment. Harvard professor Dan Gilbert studied a group of students who had taken two photographs and were given the option to only keep one. One group could not change their mind. Their selection was final—an unchangeable decision. The other group made a changeable decision—they could change their mind at any time and exchange their picture for the other photograph. Gilbert followed up and recorded their satisfaction about their decision. The results proved overwhelmingly that those who made decisions that could not be changed were more satisfied with their decision than those who wanted to keep their options open.

A friend interpreted these results for Gilbert by comparing them to the difference in satisfaction between those living together (a changeable decision) and those that get married (an unchangeable decision). Gilbert was so impacted by the truth of the science and his friend’s correlation that he went home and proposed to his live-in girlfriend. Regarding his decision to marry, he said “I love her so much more now that we’re married, now that I can’t get out of this relationship no matter how fast I run. She is the love of my life, and I didn’t realize that when I was always thinking, should I stay or shouldn’t I stay. There’s a lot to say about making commitments.”