Men Making a Difference

We have to change the current trends toward discouragement, and encourage men to be all they are made to be

It is so important to recognize the power men have to be a unique force for good in our families and culture. Similarly, we must not discourage men with the sense that they are not wanted and needed for who they are—and for who God made them to be.

The problem, of course, is that our cultural discourse today often sends the opposite message—and in some ways it seems to be getting worse, not better. In certain quarters of social media this year, I’ve been astounded at the level of vitriol leveled at men. If there’s a problem in a marriage, it is automatically assumed to be because of the husband. Men are seen as the privileged and the “patriarchal.” They’re the aggressors and the abusers, right? We don’t even have a vocabulary for women as either of those things, although logically we know that a critical or controlling woman can be just as abusive as a critical or controlling man.

The resulting sense is that we must stay on top of men in a way we don’t have to with women. We must reign men in. They aren’t “allowed” to have a voice about all sorts of things. We must make sure women—and society as a whole—have good boundaries with men. That we hold them accountable.

Now, is it true that some men are abusive and controlling? Tragically, yes, and that must always be strongly condemned and strongly addressed. But is that most men? No. That is a world away from being true.