Simple But Powerful Relationship Lessons We Can Learn From Kids

Kids are quick to forgive.

Can you think of a time when a child in your life got really upset with you and less than 10 minutes later it was miraculously over and forgotten? Young kids from loving families tend to practice the healthy relationship habit of keeping short accounts. In other words: they don’t hold a grudge. They move on from conflict. And they assume the best. They know you love them and they love you too; that is never in question.

One of the most important findings of the Highly Happy Marriages research was related to this. We found that in the vast majority of normal (non-abusive) marriages, if you want to have a happy marriage you have to move through conflict or arguments assuming this truth: that your spouse cares about you and does not intend to hurt you. Happy couples know how to put conflict into perspective.

For kids, a shorter attention span might assist their rapid transition from hurt back to happiness. We adults would benefit from some attention span reduction—cutting short our stewing and grumbling and turning to what is right with our spouse and our relationship. Every minor conflict doesn’t have to escalate, every thought or concern doesn’t need to be expressed. As long as it is not something serious, sometimes we can simply “let it go” and move on.