10 Encouraging Facts About Marriage You Need to Hear and Share

9. “Grey divorce” is not a major risk

News stories about “grey divorce” for older couples make it seem like a much bigger risk than it is. If a marriage is going to fail, it’s far more likely to fail in the first four or five years. The longer people are married, the lower the risk of divorce. Research shows people might think about divorce from time to time, but most want to stay married and work problems out.

10. Big life stressors can make marriages stronger 

Finally, it’s easy to think that stressors are only negative for a marriage. And yet the upheavals of the last few years have demonstrated that such times often bring couples closer. In an American Family Survey, 58% of respondents (married or cohabiting) said that they appreciated their partner more during onset of the pandemic period of 2020. Marriage researcher Dr. Scott Stanley told us, “Similarly, a study from 2011 examined married respondents’ experiences of the great recession. Among those who reported that their commitment levels were affected by the recession, twice as many reported that their commitment increased than reported that it decreased.”

Given the bad news that upheavals don’t seem to be going away, it’s great news that our marriages can be such a source of strength. In his report on marital improvements during the COVID-19 era, Stanley emphasized that times of stress and uncertainty might be the best opportunity for marriages to “reinforce the simple power of listening and paying attention to one’s partner—of being responsive and caring.” He also added, “Feeling heard and supported in the time of worry is a way to make intimacy.”

It’s good news that many marriages seem to be doing just that. So the next time you hear someone mention a depressing marriage myth, be sure to tell them the true facts.

This article was originally published at Focus on the Family. Special thanks to my collaborator on the book and co-author on this article, Tally Whitehead.

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