Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Communication

Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Communication June 1, 2022

African American couple sits and talks to one another

This series is designed for newlyweds, those about to be married—and pretty much anyone who wants to know the most important factors for creating a great marriage. These simple insights are drawn from 18 years of research and 12 nationally-representative studies with more than 40,000 men and women. This is the second article in the series. Share it with those who are newly married—or just about to be!


When my husband, Jeff, and I conducted our research study to find out what the happiest couples do differently, we were surprised and a bit amused to discover that although most of these couples talked about the importance of “communication,” they couldn’t explain what that actually meant. They had spent years building great communication habits—but couldn’t articulate what they were doing differently. So Jeff and I investigated what “communicating well” actually meant in practice for these couples.

Below are four crucial communication habits we’ve identified for any couple who wants to create a highly happy marriage. Several of these arose from our nationally-representative surveys and were included in our book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. Others have been identified in new research. These are by no means an exhaustive list, but all are simple and game-changing for any marriage.

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