Why Does My Wife Expect Me to Read Her Mind?

Truth #4: Seeking out what matters to her emotionally, is just as important as providing for the family financially

The most important habit for you to start with is what we covered in the first piece about how to read her mind: Talk with her. Ask her what is going on in her life. Encourage her to process out loud (if she is that sort of person), and then listen. 

It will help if you leave enough energy at the end of the day to do this for your wife—who is, after all, the most important person in your life. You may default to pouring more attention into your job in large part because you assume your wife is secure and your job is not. But now you know: that isn’t necessarily true. 

If you’ve been saving only crumbs of energy and attention for your wife, it is almost certainly not because you don’t love her but because you are thinking, “This shouldn’t be necessary.” After all, you likely feel that one of your primary callings is to provide for your family, financially. As important as that is, it is even more important to pursue the deep need of your wife to be known and loved.

So here’s a starting point: For the next week, listen to and observe your wife or girlfriend as you ask about her day. And send daily signals that you still love her. That will help you to rediscover your delight in pursuing her, continue to “learn” her—and become the provider of the love that matters most.

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