Do: Expand your definition of a “date”
As we mentioned in Part 1, we need to take the pressure off of “date night” planning. Our research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Couples found that the key isn’t necessarily an official “date night,” as much as being purposeful about spending time together. For you, that may need to be regular date nights out because you need that accountability. But some of you will find another pattern works better.
As one example, Jeff and I realized years ago that when we were not traveling and speaking, we would much rather spend our precious evenings home with our kids! So our time for connecting became over morning coffee after we got the kids out the door for school. I wrote about this a few years ago, so I won’t revisit it here, other than to say that this routine really works for us. The key is to find what works for you.
Our research discovered that couples who hang out together at least once a week are five times more likely to be “very happy” than couples that don’t. This can be as simple as spending thirty minutes on the couch encouraging each other through life’s current demands.
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