Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud: 1. “I need to feel desirable.” We women may think sex is just a physical need for a guy, but that’s not most of what is going on. When his wife responds to him – or initiates it herself! – it meets a deep emotional need to feel that his wife desires him. 2. “I love you and want to be closer to you.” We women want to feel close outside the... Read more
Here’s the good news: If you want to be a kind person, the quickest way to get there is to build a habit of praising others regularly. Here’s the bad news: You already think you do have that habit… but you probably don’t. You don’t express affirmation nearly as often as you think. A few summers ago, our family was out in the countryside at a Fourth of July fair. It was a popular affair with games, music, food booths,... Read more
If you’re a parent of a teenager, you’ve probably experienced the eye roll or utter disgust for whatever parental wisdom you’re trying to share. You’ve seen the defensiveness when you ask that one, small, innocent question. One day your little... Read more
Here are three key facts we females usually don’t know about the male brain wiring – but really need to! Read more
In more than a decade of research with thousands of men and boys over the years, one thing that has stood out is the power of a mom’s words to build her son up – or (accidentally) tear him down. Whether your son is five or fifteen, several phrases are a big, big deal. Here are three: 1. “I’m so proud of you.” All males are powerfully moved by hearing these words, but perhaps none more so than the young,... Read more
Picture a cup filled with hot water. Now imagine taking a tea bag, dipping it in the water quickly, and taking it back out. The water is, for the most part, unchanged, with just a wisp of caramel color trailing through it. Now picture dipping the same bag back in the cup for thirty seconds. What happens? The water is still water, but it takes on a honeyed hue. Do it again, but this time leave the tea bag... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My husband is an involved dad, a leader at our church, the type of guy people look to for advice, and he goes over and above his requirements on the job. But he is often grumpy and withdrawn at home. He gets upset at the littlest things I say. He seems to think I’m hard to please, but I’m not! But his constant grumpiness has started to annoy me, to be honest, and then I do say things... Read more
If you’re reading this, I can tell you two things about yourself. First: You think you’re a kind person. Kindness matters to you. You work at being kind, and you do not like the unkindness of others, or how harsh our culture has become. So you’re grateful that you, at least, are not like that. You feel good about being kind. Second: You’re not as kind as you think you are. Why am I so certain? Because 95% of people... Read more
In more than a decade of research with thousands of men and boys over the years, one thing that has stood out is the power of a mom’s words to build her son up – or (accidentally) tear him down.... Read more
Your co-worker just made you so mad. Or maybe it was your husband who said something insensitive this morning. Or your teenager who rolled her eyes when you asked her to empty the dishwasher. Again. You feel like a pot ready to explode, so you just need to let off a little steam. A few minutes of “can you believe he just said…” or “she’s so obnoxious when…” will make you feel so much better. Right? Right? Wrong. What is... Read more
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