Don’t Let “Facebook Fantasies” Ruin Your View Of Your Spouse

Last updated on: September 25, 2019 at 2:36 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have started arguing a lot about how much I look at Facebook, even though I only check it a couple of times a day. I think what my husband is really upset about is that I see what my friends’ husbands do for them — stuff he never does for me! They get the flowers, spa treatments, romantic dinners, and surprise getaways. Now, we are on a tight budget, and I know that, so he couldn’t shower me with luxurious treats even if he wanted to. The problem is: he doesn’t seem to want to! Should I have to give up Facebook just because I’m now getting a reality check on how humdrum our marriage is? Why shouldn’t I expect more from my husband? Read more

How Do I Cope With My Super-Sensitive Husband?

Last updated on: September 30, 2019 at 7:02 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti: My husband is great at many things, but sometimes he struggles with getting a new task accomplished. Like, he’s great at carpentry, but it might take him two or three days to figure out how to create a new type of bookcase I want for the kids’ bedroom. But when I offer an opinion or suggest a solution, he goes ballistic. Why is he so sensitive? I’m just trying to help and he acts like I’m trying to stick a pin in his eye. Am I supposed to just shut up and quit offering my input when I think there’s a better way to do something? What happened to being equal partners? Read more

Should I Pray For God to Make Me More … Um … Amorous?

Last updated on: September 30, 2019 at 5:49 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, Since sex is so important to my husband, and since you say it’s really about a man feeling desired by his wife, what can I do to get engaged and interested instead of just “accommodating” him? I know that just “going along with it” would be pretty depressing for him. But to be honest, I don’t feel that same type of desire for him, that he apparently feels for me. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy it when we’re together. I just don’t have this overwhelming need to “go at it” the same way he does. Should I just pray for God to give me that desire? Or what? Read more

How Often Do Men Need to Have Sex?

Last updated on: November 1, 2022 at 5:02 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, You’re the researcher, so please tell me the real answer: How often do guys need to have sex? I just don’t think about sex much; I guess it isn’t a need for me. But my husband says he thinks about it all the time, and he gets crabby that I’m often too tired. Even though I can go weeks or months and not miss it, since he can’t, I try to do the right thing. But oddly, even though he says he’s “deprived”, when I tell him “okay” that just makes him mad. He says he wants me to want it like he does. I feel like I can’t win. But if I knew how often a man needs sex I could plan on that, and hopefully that would help. Read more

When State Says Pot is OK, How Do I Convince My Child It Isn’t?

Last updated on: September 25, 2019 at 2:29 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, We live in Colorado, where pot is now visible on every corner. For my teenagers, seeing someone smoking pot is as now as commonplace as seeing someone smoking cigarettes; it’s viewed as a harmless pastime. But it isn’t harmless, and I don’t want my kids to be enticed by drugs. My husband and I have even considered moving to another state. How am I supposed to keep my kids from becoming pot-heads when they are surrounded by them? Read more

2 is better than 1: Facing Conflict Together

Last updated on: September 30, 2019 at 6:30 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, I work a lot of hours, and when I’m at home, I don’t want conflict. Problem is, we’ve had a lot of conflict recently – we’re both stressed by some extra medical bills and headaches with our kids – and it seems a whole lot better to me to try to avoid it. We both have good, supportive friends we can turn to, so when things get tense, I tell my wife I’m going to play a bit... Read more

How can I get my teen to STOP relying on social media so much?

Last updated on: September 25, 2019 at 1:00 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti, My kids’ obsession with Instagram and other social media has gotten to ridiculous levels. My teenage daughter takes photos of her outfits before she goes to school and wears the option that got the most likes. She’s already placing far too much value on what her peers think of her, and social media is making it worse. I’m ready to throw her phone in the trash. How can I get her to stop relying on social media so much – especially for her self-identity? Read more

Don’t freak out when your man handles an argument….like a man

Last updated on: March 30, 2015 at 12:53 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti: My husband and I haven’t been married very long, and I am scared about something. We have never fought much, but just had our first horrible argument. I was expecting him to “make up” with a hug or something, but he wouldn’t. Instead, he mumbled something about needing to run errands, grabbed his keys, and took off! Read more

Don’t Freak Out Over His Need for Space

Last updated on: September 30, 2019 at 7:11 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

Negative wife? Here’s how to stop the cycle!

Last updated on: September 30, 2019 at 6:27 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Dear Shaunti: My wife and I are making a concerted effort to improve our marriage. Although she is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives me crazy at how negative she’s become over 12 years together. She is often critical about the most insignificant things. I didn’t pick the right pajamas for the kids. I didn’t separate the laundry colors properly. This really bothers me, but jumping all over her for it won’t win me any points or... Read more