Dear Shaunti, The other day, I got into a big fight with my wife. In an attempt to make things right, I tried to get intimate–and she got furious! We’ve only been married a few years, and honestly we don’t fight that much. But I’ve heard from lots of friends that make up sex is a common way of restoring the good feelings. I’m feeling a bit cheated. Why isn’t my wife willing to make up this way? Sincerely, Feeling... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My 13-year-old daughter rocks at math and science. She is at the top of her 8th grade class, and is one of the only girls in a robotics elective. My husband and I have always told her she’ll make a great engineer or doctor someday, and she used to LOVE that. But she also likes choir a lot, and lately, I’m alarmed because she has begun to think of herself as a creative person more than a math... Read more
Dear Shaunti: As the new medical director at a large hospital and top surgeon, I am a qualified woman with excellent experience in the medical field and in management. But I seem to be having a really hard time with my male coworkers since I was promoted. I work with a lot of men and have to make tough decisions quickly while on the surgery floor. Recently, two of my male counterparts argued with me over a decision. When I... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband and I never used to fight, but there have been a lot of fights, or almost-fights, the last few months. My husband is on the verge of losing his job in a restructuring, and we have three kids under the age of five. So he’s tense and on edge all the time, and little irritations tend to blow up into arguments. I can’t stand the kids being around that. I hate conflict in general, so I... Read more
Dear Shaunti, The other day, I got into a huge fight with my wife. I was mad and couldn’t talk to her. I was worried I would say something bad and be a total jerk. But the next day when things simmered down, she told me she didn’t know if I still loved her. Seriously?! And this isn’t the first time. Whenever we fight, she starts getting a lot of doubts and seems to question my commitment to our marriage.... Read more
Dear Shaunti, I am back in the workforce after ten years as a stay-at-home mom, and I know my experience juggling kids has prepared me well for my new project manager job. After all, before 7 am each morning alone, I have a husband and three kids to get fed, clothed, and out the door before racing to make our daily staff meeting. My female colleagues totally “get” that I’m prepared for this job, but I need to make sure... Read more
It is one thing for your future husband to know that you have an inquisitive nature. It’s a completely different matter to live with it every day. Read more
Dear Shaunti, My oldest son is having a tough first year of high school – leaving his old friends, trying to make new ones, and dealing with some unfair teachers. I’m thankful that at least he’s talking to us about these struggles (I was worried that he wouldn’t) but when he explains the latest issue, all we get is the dramatic injustice of it all. He won’t even listen to our suggestions of how to try to turn things around... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My husband is an involved dad, a leader at our church, the type of guy people look to for advice, and he goes over and above his requirements on the job. But he is often grumpy and withdrawn at home. He gets upset at the littlest things I say. He seems to think I’m hard to please, but I’m not! But his constant grumpiness has started to annoy me, to be honest, and then I do say things... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m married to a wonderful woman whom I dearly love. The problem is, she doesn’t believe it! No matter how much I tell her I love her, how hard I work to bring home a good paycheck, how often I take the kids or do the chores so she can have time to herself, she claims she “doesn’t feel it.” It boggles my mind! What else can I do? I’d take her on a cruise around the world... Read more
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