Dear Shaunti, My wife is constantly nagging me about taking care of myself, but I feel like I’m doing a good enough job where that is concerned. I work out sometimes, and try to eat healthy when I can, although I do enjoy some junk food! Lately, I’ve been noticing that she seems to be less receptive to my advances and doesn’t seem to be as passionate about me as she was before. She keeps bugging me to go out... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My husband has an anger problem, and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away. Last night, we got into a fight on our way out of a restaurant, just because I told him that he shouldn’t have eaten so much, and he definitely shouldn’t have had dessert. He actually walked away and left me standing at the door! It was a good thing I... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I am a female attorney, age 29, working at a large and prestigious litigation firm. I have a law degree from a top-five school, graduated near the top of my class, am smart, experienced and able to handle any case that is thrown at me. Yet at my firm I am surrounded by men, and have had a difficult time getting them to take me seriously. One of our HR directors recently told me that she felt the... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m so angry with my husband that I could spit. Every now and then Dave ignores a much-needed opportunity for us to be together, and does something else instead. Like last weekend: after months of working overtime, we recently had a day all to ourselves. The kids were even at a sleepover with friends! Dave was going to help his friend move for a few hours, then we were going for a long bike ride (a special thing... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband says I always want things my way. And he’s right to a certain extent because, honestly, in my mind, there are just right and wrong ways to do things. The house simply should be neat instead of messy. Is that too much to ask? Or no, he shouldn’t let the kids spread their homework all over the kitchen table, thirty minutes before dinner. My husband feels like I’m criticizing him, and I’m not really: I just... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market. And I’ve been very supportive of him dipping into our personal finances to personally pay our staff when things have been tight. He knows I’m supportive, and that I really believe in him and trust his ability to grow a great business. But... Read more
Dear Shaunti, You say that women have worries that pop up in their minds, almost like open windows on a computer. I see that in my wife every day – but to me, it looks like she just doesn’t trust me at all. And it’s become a huge issue in our marriage. For example, I’m in construction today, but years ago I served a tour in Iraq as a medic… but, still, whenever our daughters are sick my wife worries... Read more
Dear Shaunti, I’ve been dating a wonderful man for two years and he wants to get married, but I’ve been a single mom for almost eight years – and I just can’t get past the fact that 60 percent (or more) of second marriages don’t make it. Should I even get married again, and if I do, how can I protect myself and my kids and yet give this new marriage the best chance? – Seriously Nervous Nellie Dear Seriously... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My wife and I have been married for five years, and I’ve had back surgery more pleasant than my marriage is right now. We know most marriages aren’t great, but thought we would be the exception to the rule. But since we’re not, I think it would be best to cut our losses before we have kids, part ways and go on with our lives. I should have listened to my brother and gotten a dog and a... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’ve been married for 15 years, and my wife is a great mom, a great wife, and my best friend. I feel like things are going great. My wife, on the other hand, has started telling me that we’ve “settled” for a mediocre marriage. I tell her I love her every day, but sometimes she will still say things like, “Do you really love me?” I finally asked her why she would even wonder that, and she said... Read more
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