How To Get Your Human To Drop Morality

How To Get Your Human To Drop Morality June 25, 2016


Dear Rothoof,

I see from your admission form that you have a male subject this time — young, idealistic, and stuffed with simplistic insights into what’s Right and Wrong. Given that you’re under the watchful eye of the Disciplinary Board, the Probation Office, and the independently contracted Anti-Incompetence League, I thought it judicious to give you a few words of advice. 

You have an advantage concerning the youth of your prey. He thinks he is about to go out into the world and experience “life.” Your uncle Mammon has helped the humans spend billions of dollars in advertising and movie-making to promote this idea: Do not tarnish his reputation by ignoring it. Let your human believe that life is something “out there,” around the corner, and always about to happen. Never let him suspect that life is, at bottom, the same for him as it is for us — not waiting to happen but now. Let him believe that “the real world” is always somewhere other than his present location. Never let him suspect that the real world is always exactly where he is.

On its own, this hardly helps Our Glorious Rebellion: The view of life being “out there” rather than “right now” is a petty falsehood that could just as easily make an arctic explorer of your man as any kind of appetizer for our refined, angelic palates. But it prepares the ground for a far more malicious seed: If real life is “out-there” and “not-yet,” it stands to reason that all that is “in-here” and “already-present” is not real life.

Now there is much experienced as “in-here” and “present” in the male human heart that should — for our sake — remain unquestioned and unchecked by outside experience. His prejudices, idiocies, natural dispositions towards selfishness and ingratitude; his racisms and sexisms; his quick judgment that a beggar is probably addicted to drugs or involved in some highly-organized beggar gang; his immediate consent to any article beginning with the words “scientists predict”; his unchecked belief that the female breast is a pornographic object unassociated with very small humans; his inability to be happy without a comparative evaluation of the happiness of other humans; his assumption that he cannot provide for himself, but must, by nature, rely on hordes of experts for his daily bread — keep all of this. We’ve worked hard on this set of prejudices for the North American Campaign.  

No, Rothoof, I am not asking you to inspire your human to check his prejudices against life-experience. Have him question his moral faculties. Have him degrade everything experienced as “in-here” in favor of the experience-doling wisdom of “out-there.” Since humans experience their conscience, value-sense, and tradition as unveiling right and wrong “in here,” it’s a simple trick to have them degrade their own capacity for moral wisdom by seeing it as lacking the quality of realism; part of an inborn prejudice; cold and abstract as opposed to the warmth “real experience.” It is far easier to make a man feel childish for being virtuous, inexperienced in his moral intuitions and unrealistic in his noble qualities than to draw him plainly and simply to greed, envy, and anger. After all, vices exert far less pull than you’d suppose. Evil, for whatever reason, does not attract the humans on its own. The immoral is best reached by casting suspicion on the moral — and there is no easier route than to have a man suspect that all his goodness is something detached from “real life.”  

Of course, you should not let your subject consider what in Hell he means by “real,” and how, in Lucifer’s name, the “real” includes things he sees when goes to government-school rather than words whispered by his parents; things he sees on TV rather than the thrilling of his moral consciousness over some act of courage, patience, chastity, and so forth. The “real world” should simply mean “all that comes from out there,” fantastically realer then “all the stuff that comes from in here.” Work this method well and, usually by the mid-point of your subject’s collegiate career, the mere fact of something coming from “out-there” is enough to give it the glow of truth and moral goodness. “Life experiences” will become good in their own right. Your subject will not question whether he ought to have this or that experience — he will see it all as a learning opportunity given by “real life.” We have seduced many otherwise frustratingly good Christians with this Method. They’ll often say, speaking of some evil act, “well thank God you had the experience” or “at least you learned something” — as if a plus side of immorality was an increase in realism. You see, Rothoof, their tacit acquiescence to the idea that, in the end, the obscurely-defined “real life” is a better teacher than virtue, conscience, or the even Enemy Himself? They believe that there is a realism that only our education can bring — a wisdom only attainable through the ignorance of sin and a knowledge only available to the degraded.

Degrade away, Rothoof. Let your human believe that he is to be shaped by life rather than shape it, to mirror the real world rather than change it and to accept it as it stands rather than to hold it up to the light of a higher judgment. You’ll have him in the pot in no time.

Keep in touch,


p.s. Do re-read my last email. On the basis of your reply, I don’t think you realized how brilliant it really was.

Hey Dear Readers, it’s not-demon me, Marc. I’m trying to motivate myself to write for you. If I get any donation, no matter how small, I will regard it as a challenge, and post again within the next 33 hours. Follow my Facebook page to see if someone has already challenged me to post!  

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