Let’s Help Everyone Get On Their Feet

God Loves Me Despite My Sins

I certainly hope who I am in God’s eyes is not the same as who I am in other people’s eyes. I hope my enemies are not correct about me. Sometimes, I’ve mistreated people.  Oftentimes, I have not displayed the best version of myself towards even my friends.

But I believe God loves me. He sees who I really am and who I’m trying to be. That’s the whole reason for my column. Now, I know it can come off as arrogant to some. I can hear the whispers in my head of others’ asking” Who does this guy think he is, urging us to be like Jesus?  He is no better than me.”

They are correct. I’m the same person who has sinned and continually lets myself down. I was thinking about this the other night as I was driving down a rocky road. Suddenly, a car got behind me pushing me to go faster. First, he flashed his lights, then he started with his horn. I was furious. My temper, which is something I’ve battled with since I was a child, was having its way with me.

I could have made the next right turn and avoided a bad situation. But I refused to give in. He finally drove around me and just avoided the cars driving in the opposite direction.  I pulled down my window as he passed and flipped him the bird. Oh, I might have screamed some choice curse words his way as well.  I need to be better than this.

New Yorker in the South

You see, I’m a New Yorker who recently moved to the Deep South. And one thing that is different is talk radio. Every station on the AM dial consists of a religious leader telling me what Jesus wants me to do.  One even said I must vote for Trump because he wants to protect the unborn. 

I want to be like Jesus but I’m unsure what he would always do. This came into play when I first met Gus. He is a 45-year-old-looking man with a rather unkempt beard, long dirty fingernails, and shakes nervously.  I met him at roughly 4am at the convenience store a few months back.  When I pulled into the parking lot that morning, I spotted him right away and knew he could use a bite.

He was standing outside the entrance door shaking on an unseasonably cold morning, clinging tightly to his cigarette. I figured I should help him out.

“Can I get you something?” I asked. He smiled a bit and said he was thirsty but also would appreciate a pastry.

I returned to him a few moments later with a coffee and a bag of donuts. “Are you okay?” I managed to say.  He assured me he was fine and would be headed home.  We exchanged names and I told him to hang in there. This went on for several weeks.

Christians Don’t Want to Help?

Soon after, I wondered what Jesus wanted me to do for Gus, whom he clearly placed in my way.  At the same time, I was also writing an article on a church that had a huge food drive for Christmas. They were helping people, and I was trying to do so too.

I let my guard down and told the pastor how I was trying to help the poor. She said something that genuinely made me think.  She said it was good to give as a band-aid solution, but if there were no long-term changes in sight, then maybe my way of giving was not correct.

I stopped giving to Gus for the next few weeks. I was torn and didn’t know what Jesus was pushing me to do.

The pastor made some sense, but a memory of what a Christian brother said to me once in passing came back to me.  

“Evan don’t let anyone tell you how you should be a Christian,” he said. “Don’t listen to those zealots on the radio, but just listen to Jesus.”

Several hours ago, when I saw Gus outside the store, he looked hungry.  I pulled out a big bill from my wallet and told him to get whatever he wanted.  But really it was Jesus’ idea.

“If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”  Matthew 19-21