Tears that Point to Heaven

Xavier was very involved with the work of Pine Hills Boys Camp and the community of men surrounding that. As a former camper, counselor, and father of a camper myself, this loss has touched not only myself but countless others close to me, as I’m sure his life has impacted many others as well.

The funeral mass itself was a powerful testament to the faithfulness of God and an example of how the body of Christ can come together to help carry one another through times of sorrow and grief to a place of joy and hope in our final home and resting place in Christ.

Needless to say, I know many of us have shed tears this week as we’ve wrestled with the loss of Xavier and sought to be a comfort and support to others.

As I’ve reflected on my own tears, I’ve been reminded of St. John Climacus, a 7th century monk and the abbot of St. Catherine’s Monastery located on Mount Sinai. The legacy of St. John is mostly known through his seminal work, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, which is a guide to spiritual transformation structured as 30 steps on a ladder that ascends to heaven, each on a ladder that ascends to heaven – each step representing a virtue or struggle in the Christian life.

The reason I’ve thought about this work is because of what St. John writes about the gift that is tears.

In step seven, he talks about how our mourning is a way to cleanse the soul in the same way that fire burns and water washes. John points out that tears are a sign that God’s grace is at work in our lives. They can be a sign of sorrow for our sins or a desire to turn away from those factors that would bind and hurt us and wound our souls. But they can also be a sign of God working love in our hearts. Tears can be an indicator of a grace not born from the guilt of sin, but of the aching of our hearts for our ultimate end, which is intimacy with God.

As I said, bathed in the tears of a community mourning the loss of Xavier this week, I was struck at how faith also brings such deep hope into our life. There can sometimes be a tendency to see tears as a sign of weakness. In fact, in recent years, there’s been a revival of Stoicism, particularly among many young men. I think Xavier’s life and his death have both been a witness that the true strength is not to hold off or suppress our emotions, but to be open to the ways in which our soul is responding to the divine graces at work in the beauty of this world, but also in the moments of human tragedy. After all, the mystery of our redemption is rooted in both the cross and the resurrection. In each of these things, God offers graces that touch us to our very soul.

So if you are struggling this week with mourning, know that God is with you, and that God through Jesus Christ has made it known that his love will meet us in the places where we are broken. It will join in our brokenness so that we might also be joined in his wholeness.

This is our hope, and I pray that we would all find it rooted more deeply in our lives this week. God bless you.