Father’s Day: What If God Just Wants to Be With You?

A reflection on father-son time with my little boy, who’s all grown now. As with God, it’s about spending quality time, not end results.

Here’s a picture of my 6-year-old son Daniel with his fishing rod seventeen years ago. We went fishing at a local lake from about 9 PM to midnight. I had recently gotten some new lures and wanted to try them out. Most of my fishing experience has been with either cut bait or live bait, so lures were something new for me. I figured an evening with a 6-year-old would be a perfect occasion for testing out some new lures. No squirming worms or wriggling minnows to disgust a little fishing newbie. Just Dad, son, some fishing rods, and the night.

Before you ask, I’ll tell you. We didn’t catch a thing.

With Low Expectations, I Got What I Wanted

Actually, I didn’t expect to catch anything. Not with my inexperience with fake bait, along with the fact that it was a new fishing spot for us, so we didn’t know the best places to cast our lines. I hoped to catch something but wasn’t really counting on it. For me, it was an evening of father-son time. And I got what I wanted.

Expecting Something More

For Daniel, things were a bit different. His 6-year-old mind had probably conjured up all kinds of scenarios in which he would land a shark, a whale, an octopus, or something really exciting out of Ruritan Lake. To catch nothing was a huge disappointment for him. He expected something more.

As we packed up our things in the dark and made our way back to the car, he was unusually quiet. He had started the evening as his talkative self. But this quietude was more than sleepiness. He held his flashlight low, trailing behind me a little. I could feel the weight of unmet expectations on his little shoulders.

Quiet Time with God

It occurs to me how similar it is to us and God sometimes. God just wants to spend time with us, teaching us and loving us. But we expect something else. We’re looking forward to some “religious” experience that leaves us with that tingling feeling all over. Some “I saw the light” experience that will transform us from fishers of minnows into fishers of men. And we’re disappointed when our time of worship at church, or our devotion time at home, is lackluster. Sometimes we’re like my son, who pouted a bit about not getting what he expected out of the experience. I imagine God in the same position I was in that night, saying, “But I thought it was all about just being together, you and me.” Which really is what it’s all about.

God in the Stillness

Sometimes we forget that God isn’t always in the fire, or the whirlwind, or the miraculous catch of fish. Sometimes God is in the stillness, like that shimmering lake all those years ago. Calm. Quiet. Waiting.

God doesn’t always want to wow us—sometimes God just wants to walk with us.

What He Remembered Was Being with Me

When Daniel woke up the next morning, he gave me a huge hug and thanked me for taking him fishing the previous night. It took him all night to figure it out in his sleep, but he really was glad that we just had the time to spend together.

He didn’t mention the fish. He didn’t bring up the empty bucket or the quiet dock or the missed cast that landed in the weeds. What he remembered was being with me. The way our flashlights played on the surface of the water. The snacks we shared. The whispered jokes. The time.

Not the Product, but the Presence

May we figure out the same thing that my 6-year-old learned.

May we know that the point is not always the end product. It’s the presence.

And the next time we go to God hoping for boatloads, and leave with silence, maybe we can smile and remember: it’s not about the fish. It’s about time with the Father.