Sometimes you just wanna punch someone in church. Or yell. Or tell them to go away. Or at least you want to cringe, cover your ears, and tell them to stop. Sometimes Christians have no clue what to say to a person who is grieving–so they say stupid things. Usually, they are trying to be kind, and reaching for something to bring the other person comfort. But often the speaker subconsciously is trying to comfort themselves instead of their friend. Here’s... Read more
My incarcerated client told me that our jail assigns tablets to inmates so they can watch movies, listen to music, read books, communicate with folks outside, and more. When I heard this, I imagined the reaction from social conservatives. “What’s next? Movie tickets? Dating apps?” I know people who complain that prisoners have too many privileges, resent that they have cable TV, and begrudge them paid jobs while behind bars. “My taxes are paying for all this,” they say. “If they... Read more
“I’d rather have all my teeth drilled at the same time than have my picture taken,” says a friend of mine. “I always end up looking horrible.” Person in the Picture I don’t like posing for professional photographers. Their joking is designed to generate an artificial laugh, usually at the expense of someone else in the picture. “Yeah, that’s it. Put your arm around her and pretend you love each other.” Obnoxious! Then when you get the pictures back you... Read more
“Don’t read those books,” Christian leaders told Teenage Me. “They’re dangerous for your soul.” They were talking about the literature I picked up from the local New Age bookstore. Out of concern for my spiritual wellbeing, these well-meaning believers made themselves the guardians of my self-education. Those same conservative voices are banning books today, making themselves the watchdogs for young people’s thinking. Book Banning We think of book banning and burning as something Nazis did. This is ironic because recently,... Read more
When the 95-year-old Zen Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh passed away, I reflected on the influence Buddhism has had on my Christianity. Zen Baptist Years ago, a church member called and asked if I would help her with a university project. Her religion professor assigned each student to attend a service in a tradition other than their own. The parishioner expressed concerns about exposing herself to potentially harmful influences. She wanted to know if I could help her find someplace... Read more
Yesterday, a homeless client threw a drink at me. Then he threw a table. I gave him unwelcome news, and his first reaction was to fling things. I had to deal not only with his anger but with my own emotional reaction to being the target for a hurled grape soda. So, what about you? What do you do when your anger is about to boil over? Most people take time out... Read more
Some old houses can be remodeled, and some need to be torn down. Is your religion a fixer-upper, or a demolition zone? Once I rented a hundred-year-old farmhouse that the property owner was renovating around us. At the same time, our closest neighbor took his turn-of-the-twentieth-century home down to the studs to rebuild it. His ended up looking great, and ours—not so much. The difference between these two properties? His was built on a good foundation, while ours was constructed... Read more
Pastors are under tremendous pressure from churches. Members are often unaware—but Disney offers a clue. Pastors Under Pressure In the 2021 film, Encanto, we meet the enchanted family Madrigal. The recipients of a miracle, each member of the family receives a blessing or gift that they use to help the people of the village. (Don’t worry—no spoilers here.) Every one of Mirabel’s family is special—a nephew talks to animals, a sister makes flowers bloom, while her mother can heal people... Read more
The Beatitudes are not a list of happy sayings, but a continuum of Christian growth. When Jesus delivered his famous aphorisms, he wasn’t interested in speaking pleasant things to nice people. He was giving a roadmap to deeper spirituality. As you journey with Jesus, the Beatitudes invite you to be mindful of each stage on the way. First, let’s look at Jesus’ words from the NRSV: Matthew 5:1-10 – The Beatitudes When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the... Read more
“Pray for my wife who’s on a ventilator,” says a family friend. “We are standing on God’s promises and believing God for a miracle. We know that God will not leave her or forsake her. No weapon formed against her shall prosper.” What do you say, when a person asks you to pray this way? What are the problems with that kind of prayer? Red Flags When I read this prayer request, four red flags stand out to me. In... Read more
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In