When we divine with the cards, we often address the question of coping. For instance, ‘how do I cope with loss?’ – the loss of love being at the top of the list.
In my experience I’ve come to the conclusion that the hardest to counsel on is the situation when a person hates not being able to hate an ex-lover.
When people are in a relationship for a number of years, and then they split, hatred is often well-instituted, and no one is in doubt about it.
‘I hate him or her, because of such and such…’ The list is long.
If the relationship is more of a platonic dimension, such as a long-distance relationship may be, with the parties knowing each other through letters, emails, or stories that are filtered, then the breakup is more difficult to handle.
The same applies to the situation when the relationship is heavily romaticized, or based on deep emotional investment that’s devoid, however, of any tangible input. What I’m saying is that, when you can’t hate the other for never taking the trash out when you’d like for this to happen, at least out of consideration for your time, it’s a problem.
In such situations what I advise is the following: Read the cards for the other with view to establishing a clear point of hatred. Let the cards spell it out for you.
Once the hatred is articulated, it’s also easy to see what’s ridiculous about it, with the consequence of letting the steam off.
This is also the case when, on the rare occasion, the hatred is established on a meta-level, as in the comfort that some find in this situation: ‘I love it that he hates the fact that there’s nothing about me that he can actually hate.’ A nasty feeling, but one that fulfills many a hurt person.
When the situation of ‘I hate him because I love to hate him, even though I’m not sure what I hate him for exactly’ is not enough anymore, then you might want to concretize this dilemma in the form of a question to the cards, asking for a definition cum resolve, giving your hatred form, and asking at the same time for a resolution for it:
What is my hatred, and how do I cope with it?
For my random draw here, the cards name the obvious, as they often do:
Clouds, Ring, Crossroads
The hatred here is the is due to the obvious failure to get the Ring. Some don’t even know that they actually have a great desire for the ultimate commitment, or else if they do know it, they don’t want to admit it. When the Ring doesn’t happen, they find themselves at the Crossroads.
But herein lies the solution too: What if you were to make the decision to meet the Devil at the Crossroads, and marry him instead? That sounds like fun to me.
Alternatively, you might as well give yourself the time it takes to just stand there, at the juncture of your life and simply observe what’s happening. You may get a sudden flash of insight that dictates: ‘Go left.’
In this act of paying attention you’ll be hard pressed to find any space for hatred, for where exactly would be it located, where does that lead to, and what, ultimately, is its purpose?