Love Trumps Surprises

Love Trumps Surprises May 28, 2020


“Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing? So small a thing!
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

My wife originally asked me to post another piece that she wrote. But I had this idea cooking all day in my head while working in the kitchen.  I just had to post this story instead.  A story rather important and I hope others will want to hear. This is not the story you asked me to post dear wife. But you can be sure it will be worth reading.

First off,

I don’t usually post about politics, but Trump has misled you.

He has mislead you.

He has misled you into thinking this post was about him.

It’s not.

That was just the distraction. Because you can’t surprise your readers or your wife by letting them know in the title what your true intention is.

The purpose of this post is to demonstrate the strengthening of a sacrament.
You’ll understand by the end.

A Love Story in the Age of Corona….

“Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War


First Speed Bump

It was 2009, May something as I was driving in my car talking to Kristin. She told me something that would change the course of our lives. She was going to hang out with a friend who was male. Now, Kristin didn’t hang out with a lot of people being a contemplative introvert and so when she told me she was going to hang out with someone of the opposite sex, my immediate reaction was



She was going to hang out with a male who was not me.

Now were not even dating at the time. We are just close friends. Best friends. Friends who see each other all the time. Friends who spend more time with each other then with other people. We’re not committed in a romantic relationship. But in that moment, I did not want Kristin hanging out with another male. Years earlier when I was at Franciscan University in a phone conversation with Kristin, I let her know that we would probably never date again. After we hung up, she called me back challenging my statement, WHY NOT? And now as I was driving, I was feeling the same thing she did years ago; a sense of loss leading me to want something I didn’t officially have, a particular relationship with a person I wasn’t dating.

I remember praying in the CatholicTV chapel about my relationship with Kristin and was sure God told me that I was to move on and find someone else. During the time period that this was all happening Kristin had looked once again into religious communities. The first time we broke up after meeting in college in 1993 was due to the fact that Kris wanted to be a nun. Flash forward to the night my friend Kerri invited me to her pampered chef party.

I invited Kristin along and had to beg her to come, she didn’t really want to go. It’s a good thing I convinced her to  go.  Another turning point in the road was about to divert us in a whole new direction.

Second Speed Bump

After the PC party I drove Kris back to her condo in Warwick. It had been another fun night together.  I was gonna leave but we starting mutually kissing. I hadn’t planned on it, but the moment just happen.  We have a history of dating and not dating.

I remember driving hours to surprise you with a visit.  After a couple of times you were no longer surprised, but you were excited to see me.  We spent hours on the phone when we were not even a couple just talking about everything, anything and nothing much.  We were not even dating, nor having such relations, when we talked about what we would name a child if we ever had one.

Kissing you that night after we left the Pampered Chef party sparked a decision from both of us. We couldn’t just keep being friends and then getting romantic. We had to make a decision on where our relationship was going.

Image may contain: one or more people and people standing

Joe , Our Friend Jeremy, and Dan

Kristin I remember you telling me you did not want an on again-off again relationship and I respected that.  I knew what I had to do.  What I was feeling called to do.

Cut to the Saturday we attended our friend Dan’s wedding. Dan was a friend I had meet back in the day when I used to frequent the catholic young adult singles scene. Some YA group were always sponsoring dances. I thought I might find my future wife there. But alas, it was not meant to be. This however is where I meet Dan. And now I was attending his 2nd wedding. His first wedding was annulled. Another good friend I also meet at a dance, Joe Schauster, was also in attendance. It was a grand day indeed.

I then took Kristin on a tour at CatholicTV where I then worked.  I gave her the grand tour.

We went to Mass at the church next door where I did something that Kristin teases me about to this day.  We had talked about tithing to the church and I was sure it was an obligation.  Kristin said it was not, most especially if you were low income or already giving money to others in need, not just the church.

Then it was time for the collection. What was I to do after the conversation we had only recently?  I didn’t have any cash on me, or a check book.  I pretended to put money in it the basket. It didn’t work. She saw right through it, an empty envelope.  My plan failed. It caused her to laugh with disbelief, something she does on a regular basis.

There was something I was thinking about all through Mass. I thought the time was right.  I had wanted to wait for the perfect moment such as a feast day for it to happen, so we could easily remember the date it happened. I remember the events of this day but the exact date. Anyway, as we walked along the Charles river, on a wooded path the urge to do it NOW overwhelmed me.  Without a ring and any real pre-planning, without any real cool and unique way of doing it, I knelt in the mud and before I could even ask the question there was a YES!


Facebook Reminder

The great thing about FB is that it reminds you of your past posts. A few days ago, this blast from the past popped up.

May 26, 2009 ·

After a long time of just being friends and then dating and then just being friends again, well, just Friendship just wasn’t working out, so I asked Kristin to just marry me and she said yes. Sooooo I’m now engaged to Kristin Nealon.

Being separated by this stinking virus means that I can’t hug, kiss or spend time in person with my wife. Working all day at the nursing home has caused us to communicate less then we usually do. I figured  I see and talk less to my spouse; I wasn’t going to let that stop me from finding a creative and unique way to be romantic.

Being romantic helps strengthen marriage.
Marriage is a beautiful, holy sacrament.

“From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament.” CCC 1638

I’m committed to strengthening our marriage and keeping it strong.
I’m committed to strengthen the sacrament.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

This is what this post is all about.
Kristin, you always say, you liked our spontaneity when we were younger.
Here is a spontaneous post that is a love letter to you my wife.
And a way to get readers reading our blog.

I look forward to getting back together again with you soon. Just like this couple.

Couple married for 70 years reunited after months apart due to coronavirus restrictions

“I told him what we were afraid of. We’re afraid we’re going to lose one of them and they’re never going to have seen each other again. And I asked, ‘Is there anything you can do? We’re willing to take the risk, my dad is willing to take the risk,'” Willard said. “He immediately called me and said absolutely we want to do this for you!”

See the source image

Not only were their parents able to see each other again, but their emotional reunion was captured on video by staff members. Walter and Jean held hands, cried, hugged and kissed. “Oh honey I’m so happy to see you!” Jean said.

When she continued to cry, Walter asked his wife if she was OK. “No, I missed you,” she said. The couple could not stop embracing.

“After 70 years!” Walter said — Jean couldn’t believe they had been married that long.

Also if Your Married and Board in this time of corona, here is a resource for you…..

Witness to Love is a virtues-based, Catechumenate model of marriage renewal and preparation that integrates modern principles of psychology and the virtues to help couples facilitate an authentic dialogue about their relationship.
William Hemsworth, Married and Bored? Here Is A Free Resource (May 28, 2020) The Pursuit of Holiness @ Patheos Catholic

The other post you asked me to post will be posted or has been posted.

But this romantic post idea just seemed to TRUMP the other one for now.

And also

You’ve been Rick Rolled.

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