In celebration of the Catholic Bard’s 25th Post, here are 25 thoughts that are either funny, thought provoking, inspirational or just plain interesting. They have been tweeted and written by fellow Catholics who want to share their faith and wit with others. I think their memorable enough to share. So I’m sharing.
On Saturday, I prayed in an adoration chapel. Then I led the music in a charismatic men’s group. Then I went to a two hour Latin Mass. Before lunch
Nick Alexander @NickAlexCath (Dec 10, 2018)
Sometimes time flies faster than the speed of light
and you suddenly realize a week has past
or even a month
You work, you pray and you help others,
and you spend time with your family
then you tweet about it
then time keeps flying
before you know it eternity will be yours
CatholicBard @BardCatholic (Mar 13, 2019)
Found an interesting use for my iMissal app… cueing up the Nicene Creed for a coworker who honestly didn’t know (& had asked) if Catholics believed in Jesus.
Giraffes Are Like Werewolves @GiraffesAreFast (Sep 19, 2019)
When I met the Pope last week, I said (in Italian): “I pray for you all the time.”
To which he replied “For me or against me?”
I had to lean in closer to understand if I heard him correctly. And then I busted out laughing.
Was still laughing when he gave me a rosary.
Lino Rulli @linorulli (Nov 22, 2019)
I offered the Last Rites this weekend for a parishioner.
Even as she prepared for her own death, she was still praying for her priests, and the repose of the souls of all her loved ones who had gone before her into heaven.
I hope I have that much faith at the end of my life.
Fr. Cassidy Stinson @TheHappyPriest (Feb 15, 2020)
I enjoy running.
I also enjoy tax audits, going to the all night dentist and being beaten with a sock full of nickels by clowns.
Judymcdonald @judymcdonald (Feb 22, 2020)
As the zombie apocalypse takes place all vegans will realize that lifestyle was a cute convenience.
chrismpadgett@chrismpadgett (Mar 24, 2020)
“I coined the word ‘eucatastrophe’: the sudden happy turn in a story which pierces you with a joy that brings tears…” —J.R.R. #Tolkien #Easter
J.R.R. Tolkien @JRRTolkien (Apr 12, 2020)
Being a mother is indescribable; joy, worry, delight, frustration, but ultimately the greatest satisfaction and deepest human love of your life. So grateful.
Patricia Heaton @PatriciaHeaton (May 10, 2020)
It is so beautiful to think of Our Lady’s interior life and the secret meditations of her Immaculate Heart in those bright days in the Cenacle, between Ascension and Pentecost. (I wonder if she prayed for us – if even then, by the words spoken on the Cross, she knew she had been given the whole Church throughout history as her progeny. Not just the Church; for all mankind has been redeemed in the Blood of Christ. What a consoling thing it is to approach Our Mother’s hidden life in the Cenacle.
TheAmishCatholic @AmishCatholic (May 24, 2020)
I ordered a dozen glazed donuts from @dunkindonutsand was told “we don’t have any. “This is truly the end of civilization as we know it. The devil is driving a truck filled with my toilet paper and glazed donuts, laughing.
Bob Rice @therealbobrice (Mar 25, 2020)
no more bein blue y’all
this is more than hoopla
death’s sting is moot ha
tomb is a lacuna
hear the roar of Judah
Augustine of Hiphop @hiphopaugustine (Apr 12, 2020)
I suggest our times are like the Hunger Games because of how the characters are all so broken and use and wound one another to survive. The big, bad government is merely the surface villain, an instrument of broken people. It’s our story and we’ve been doing it for a long time.
Fr. Timothy Grumbach @FrTimGrumbach (Jun 1,2020)
My 15 year old baby brother has started getting up and skateboarding towards the sunrise every morning.
He sends all the siblings a good morning message with the sunrise, and it’s just really pure and makes me smile every morning.
Sister Bethany, fsp @SrBethanyFSP (Jun 4, 2020)
constantly in a state of, “actually, I don’t think I commit many mortal sins” and then thinking about how Jesus said, “I say to you whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment”
Tommy Tighe @theghissilent (Jun 7, 2020)
Some years ago, I forgot I had to preach one Sunday. Full of nerves, I could only say,
“God loves you.”
When I got out, there was a line of people waiting. One by one they said, “thanks, I thought God forgot about me. You reminded me He hasn’t.”
Fr. Goyo @FrGoyo (Jun 10, 2020)
Me: I set up your Latin tutoring for next week.
Me: We’ll meet him at a brewery downtown.
Son: (Pause) Catholics are so weird.
Amy Welborn @amywelborn2 (Jun 13, 2020)
An old canon lawyer at the Angelicum used to say that you should not ordain pious but dim seminarians. The piety wears off but the stupidity remains.
Bishop Down Umber @BishopUmbers (Jun 13, 2020)
My friend is proposing that the national anthem be changed to the theme song from America’s Funniest Home Videos. If the current one is gonna upset so many people might as well upset everyone.
Friar Nick, OFM Conv.@FrNickOFMConv (Jun 13, 2020)
saw a whole bunch of nerdy middle-schoolers at the park having lightsaber fights. it was beautiful. so wholesome
tea with Tolkien @TeawithTolkien (Jun 13, 2020)
The Lord knows that evil and sins do not define us; they are diseases, infections. And he comes to heal them with the Eucharist, which contains the antibodies to our negative memory. With Jesus, we can become immune to sadness.
Pope Francis @Pontifex (June 14 2020)
My vocation story in its most succinct form:
Encountered Jesus in the Eucharist.
Couldn’t wait to tell everyone about Him.
Discover that I can fulfill the deep desires of my heart proclaiming
His Love and Truth as a
Sister Andrew Marie @SrAndrewFSP (June 6, 2020)
Galossians (noun) – the 74th book in the Bible, created by combining Galatians and Colossians.
Example: “My favorite Bible verse comes from Galossians: “For God so loved the world that he made fast the bears.” (6/12/2018)
Bears Are Fast @bearsarefast (Jun 12, 2020)
So while in line for confession today (#NoSinGang – feels good!) I was reading the names of former parishioners on the stained glass windows & stations, etc.
And I thought, what if the names aren’t there because they want recognition but because they want prayers when they die?
So if you are ever waiting in line at Mass and you’re wondering whoever the person who paid for the 9th station might have been, you may as well offer a prayer for the repose of their soul.
Emily, I guess @EmilyKath319 (Jun 13, 2020)
I need a math nerd’s help.
If the Sacred Host retains the Presence of Jesus within my stomach for 15min, how many times do I need to say Mass until I have carried Our Lord within me for as long as Our Lady did?
Fr. Ryan Hilderbrand @FrHilderbrand (Jun 14, 2020)