My brain really is lopsided and off kilter.
I’m constantly stuck in a moment I can’t get out of.
For the last several Saturdays I have had off from work, I have stayed home.
There were a zillion opportunities to do a gazillion different interesting and exciting activities.
I could have planned to visit several different friends I haven’t seen in awhile.
At the very least I could call some of them.
Just to yap and chat and catch up and update.
I could have planned a trip to someplace interesting and intriguing to take Kristin to.
Some place we don’t go or can’t go to during the week.
A place like…
- The Science Museum in Boston.
- Some historical place like the Salem Witch Museum.
- or the Divine Mercy Shrine and Norman Rockwell Museum.
We stayed home.
This is partly due to never getting enough sleep and feeling all groggy and tired to drive anywhere further then I normally drive on a ordinary everyday basis.
I just want to sleep or at least sit in a room with no noise.
But that’s not all of it.
Another reason is that I’m gripped by the Stranglehold of Indecisiveness
I wear indecifiness like a blanket around my brain.
There are so many options of things that I want to do, that I can’t decide which thing to do.
If I go here I can’t go there and might there be the better option?
Again that’s not all of it.
I have a blog and I want to write good posts others will want to read and discuss and think about. Sometimes people actually read what I write. My friends and family are not usually among those. There usually some strangers who may or may not tell me about it. I’m not well known or controversial enough to warrant a lot of commentary. So I want to stay home and do research and spend the day looking up facts on the internet and compiling them into a Word document with the hopes of assembling them into some sort of essay. Can’t do that if I am out galavanting around New England. But again I can’t decide on which particular interest I am consumed with at the time to engage in. I want to really write about this, but that is also interesting. But now this really great thing has reared its head in my curiosity and I have to find out about that.
When I’m doing this constant looking up of neverending info I think that I could be better spending my time doing other things. So I’m sometimes hesitant to do other things with the thought I could always do something better and more effective in my life and other people’s life in general. I could just give up for Lent, the idea of doing other projects and just concentrate on prayer, spending time with my wife and trying to call people I should call. There most likely not going to call me.
But when I usually give up something I don’t end up doing something proactive to replace the thing I’m fasting from, I usually end up just lying on my bed thinking about how I should do something else. I really want to give up being inactive, indecisive, and in the house doing constant research just skimming the surface of things and compiling them.
I want to dive deeply into one particular topic and focus in on it. But which one?
Working a lot I don’t have time to write as much as I want.
Being a good husband I need to spend time with my wife.
Being a dedicated Catholic I want to dedicate time to God.
The one sure thing about the season of Lent is that your mind is geared to think of God much more often than you normally do.
Those thoughts usually consist of ‘Gosh, I’m really not thinking of God enough.”
This is followed closely by “Am I being scrupulous about this?”
I could go on about this topic about why I can’t write or do other things such as resurrecting my video skills, starting a podcast or buying a new computer. Why I can’t do more creative things is the one topic I seem to be really knowledge about and not have to use a lot of excess energy to come up with creative ways to talk about.
The point of this particular essay is to…
- Express my inner desperation and challenges to do more.
- Meet my own personal quota of two posts per week.
- Wanting to let U2 know (if you’re reading this) your not alone in whatever moment your stuck in.
- Your not alone in having a mind mess.
So like me regardless of how far you are progressing or not, it’s important to not give up and pray to God to
Help Me Get Unstuck From The Moment I’m Stuck In.
Please Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Motivation to do the things I can possibly change and do.
The Wisdom to know the difference.
And Encouragement to move forward and keep trying.
Also Please help eliminate indecisiveness so I can gain clarity of mind
and grant me enough rest so I may have enough energy to use my talents
and be a human being fully alive so I may love you and my neighbor
showing your truth, beauty and goodness and bringing others more
faith, hope, love and Joy.
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it