Charged by the Goddess
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the need for love spells.
I wanted to talk about why they’re essential in a not-so-soft world. We need desire and hope and longing. Connection.
So I’m going to talk more about love spells because…why the heck not? One thing I didn’t talk about in that blog was consent. Because if there is a presentation on love spells, it’s going to include a chat about consent.
Many of us have seen the scene in Practical Magic and how you need to be careful what you wish for and the needle that goes deep into the bird. In the book, the love spell is stronger and more intense.
A warning more than a success.
Love Spells and Consent
My approach to dealing with the consent question is a little different than other folks, I think. While the first thing you want to consider is intent (what do you want and what do you want to happen to someone else), it’s not really the first step.
The first step is to ask this question: how am I feeling?
What emotional state am I in? Am I reacting or responding? Am I in a place where I am clear-headed enough to make a good decision?
(Honestly, this is the first step to any decision, spell, etc.)
If you’re not sure how you feel right now or you’re not sure what emotional place you’re in, this is not the time for a love spell. Step away from the love spell.
I mean, do what you will, but this might not be well thought-out. You may ask for something you really don’t want or really didn’t understand the consequences of.
Sit with yourself to find out what you’re feeling and if there is another way to manage or meet what you’re feeling. For example, if you’re desperate for someone, is it because they have given you something you haven’t given yourself?
Could you give yourself more? Are you really desiring connection (without it being romantic or long-term)? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
The second step: what do I long for?
If you’re not in a grounded at this point. Please stop. Emotions will cloud longing.
If you have figured out where you are and what you actually want, then this is where you begin to get specific about what you want and why. The spell you do is a spell that only you can create and build, however. I could tell you what I’d do, but love spells are personal.
And they’re not always about romantic love. They’re not always about ‘getting the person.’ Many love spells are about healing. About connecting to yourself. About meeting your own broken heart and promising to be there.
The third step: do I have the consent of the folks involved?
At this point, fingers cross, you’ve thought through what you are doing. Likely, you might realize this is about you and being open to love versus being open only to one person.
So, consent with yourself is a bit easier to navigate.
If you’re still thinking about love spells as getting someone else to come to you, stay with you, or to want you, consent does matter. Without consent, you will be left wondering: are they here for me or because they feel like they have to be here for some unknown reason?
At least, that would be hard for me.
Since you’re not likely going to pass a note to the one you love and get their absolute consent, this is where you get creative. Think to what you want OUT of this spell. Do you want to feel loved? To feel connected? To feel desirable?
Why not focus your intention there and then the person or person(s) or situation that is perfect for this outcome is then called to you? Then you’re not attached to the who or what, but rather how it will feel?
I wish you love in all of the ways it arrives in this wondrous world.
Tell me what you think. What has worked for you. What hasn’t.
(And if you want more specifics, let me know…)
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