These days, I value ordinary conversations. They’re becoming an endangered species. I used to listen to the news all the time, but now fifteen minutes is enough to set off a firestorm. Something somebody does, is going to make someone and it might be me, irritated. The world seems to be perpetually outraged and on fire, with no one proposing how the tempers might be cooled, only that they should be. So I like ordinary discussions, about food, books, what we’re doing tomorrow, what we did today, and all of that…except sometimes, I get tired.
In those moments, I miss out on what is important. No one on their death bed says, “I wish I withdrew more,” so I am learning to treasure those discussions, even when they’re about K-pop Demon Hunters or “The Summer I turned Pretty.” They are moments of joy, shared across the table, just because. Those are worth savoring more than the food.
But sometimes I fail. And I push away the potential to listen to joy, in favor of snarling at the snarling world. It cascades and often starts others off on how these people are evil, deserving damnation. It leads to unpleasant and angry meals, frustrating tirades that lead nowhere. I should really stop putting on the news while I cook –because something will cause someone to pounce on the bad.
Asserting that something should be or not be, is an intention. We all know what the road to Hell is paved with –willing that others act. God wants us to be in the fray, to roll up our sleeves and serve. The world will not grow kinder by wishing it so, but by being the source of kindness that suprises others into doing likewise. There’s a cliche, “Commonsense, so rare it’s a super power.”
I disagree. Why? Because people disagree about what is common sense.
However, people do not disagree about when someone is treated kindly. They recognize the reality, even if they don’t think the person merits such generosity of spirit.
Kindness is a super power, and one vastly underutilized.
Do not mistake kindness for gentle parenting, permissiveness, or niceness. Kind requires intentionality, relationship, restoration, and accompanyment. Being kind requires being close, being humble, and being of service. It is hard.
These days, I’m wrestling with that reality, how to be truly kind. Not kind because others see it, but kind because others don’t. How do I make sure I am serving out of love, of others, not myself? I know what is needed.
It’s going on a walk when your legs hurt. Sitting at the table when you’d rather retreat to your room to rest. Putting away the phone and being present when your ears are tired of listening. Climbing the stairs in the evening. Texting “Love ya.” separately –differently, to each child, each day. Doing the more. It’s work, it’s necessary, and it’s the only work in this world that matters. Love is not feeling, it’s sublimation of self to the good of the other. It’s sacrificial.
We need to decide every day is World Kindness day, because every day the world needs it.
Love doesn’t do the minimum. Love wrings itself out to the end, all the way to the cross, and on it.
Today was supposed to be a Small Success Thursday, but I did start to write what was in my head, which is to remind myself to do more than the minimum in all things. To be intentional. Choose to act. Decide to be kind, most especially when you do not feel it. It’s not saying, “Bless your heart.” when someone cuts you off. Instead, praying they get to their destination safely is an act of charity.
So I’m letting myself listen to the news in the car –if only to stay informed, and viewing the blurbs about war in the Ukraine, rounding up of the homeless, and trampling of due process, the celebrating of the right to own guns over the rights of children to be in school or church or on the outside of their homes or getting ice cream without fear of being gunned down, it is an invitation to really pray –pray for a conversion of all the hearts and minds who have power to do something different, to be kinder, to be their brothers’ keepers.
I believe prayer is powerful, particularly when we sacrifice our anger and outrage and genuinely offer prayers for those who outrage us the most. It is the only way to deal with the senseless and the evil, to counter hate, violence, death and rage. We must be conveys of love and hope, healing and kindness, generosity and service. The world we long to live in, the one overflowing with mercy and kindess, we must live now as if we are already citizens.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In