Christmas is magical for entertainment companies in more than just the “most wonderful time of the year” way- if you can make a Christmas album or Christmas movie that catches on and becomes a classic, an ‘essential part of the Christmas experience,’ you can make big, easy money every year. Which means, of course, that every studio tries to make Christmas classics. Which also means there’s a lot to choose from, and inevitably a lot of schlock.
Allow me to suggest viewing options for Christmas, so that you can hopefully avoid the schlock. I’ve divided them into different categories (limited to 3 in each category, Christmas viewing hours are finite after all) from Annual Classics (movies that can/should be watched every year) to Let’s Pretend These Don’t Exist. Note that these are only feature films, I didn’t take into consideration TV specials like the animated Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, or the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, etc… Also note that these are movies that you would find in the “Holiday” section of a video store (if those still existed), so films like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, while both taking place around Christmas, do not count. And, of course, my list is subjective, so if you hate my list, make your own list and put it in the comments.
Annual Classics
It’s a Wonderful Life– “Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?”
A Christmas Story– “Well, put your arms down when you get to school.”
Elf– “What’s a Christmas Gram? I want one!”
Every Other Year Favorites
The Shop Around the Corner– “You treated me like a dog.” “Yes, but instead of licking my hand, you barked.”
White Christmas– “How can a guy that ugly have the nerve to have sisters?”
The Muppets Christmas Carol– “That was the speech? It was dumb! It was obvious! It was pointless! It was… short! I loved it!”
Worthy of Your DVD Collection
Joyeux Noel- “The cat we found with a note from the Germans, “Good luck, comrades!” I was ordered to arrest the cat for high treason… Until further notice.”
Christmas Vacation– “Dad, this tree won’t fit in our back yard.” “It’s not going in the yard, Russ, it’s going in the living room.”
Scrooged– “All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can’t work… ‘My back hurts,’ ‘my legs ache,’ ‘I’m only four!’ The sooner he learns life isn’t handed to him on a silver platter, the better!”
If Nothing Else is On
Home Alone– “Ma’am, I’m eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don’t think so.”
Miracle on 34th Street (1947)– “There’s a lot of bad ‘isms’ floatin’ around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism.”
Holiday Inn– “When a fellow is surprised to hear about his own wedding, brother that’s when I go to work with a clear conscience.”
Let’s Pretend These Don’t Exist…
Bad Santa
Jingle All the Way
And lots of other bad movies I haven’t seen but you can read about here: http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2014/12/the-20-worst-christmas-movies-of-all-time.html
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