Princeton Theological Seminary Appalled Kuyper Prize Named After Kuyper

Princeton Theological Seminary - Princeton, NJAfter revoking the 2017 Kuyper Prize from Presbyterian church planter and author, Tim Keller, Princeton Theological Seminary president, Craig Barnes and faculty were alarmed to discover that the Kuyper award was also named after Abraham Kuyper, whose own views called into question the rich, theological distinctiveness of the seminary.Barnes cordially noted, "I was as shocked as anyone else to find out that Kuyper held to similar, historic, … [Read More...]

Barnabas Encouragement Ministry Mistakenly Calls Themselves “The Barabbas Group”

 PORTLAND, OR – A new ministry at Life Lessons Baptist Church, aimed at encouraging the brokenhearted, is in disarray this morning after they mistakenly had printed 100,000 street pamphlets with the name Barabbas, instead of Barnabas, in the title.The Pamphlet reads: “The Barabbas Group: Encouragement For People / For as little as $99 a year you can buy the kind of encouragement that only Barabbas could offer”“Well, this is embarrassing,” commended church courier Jack Stokes. “I’ … [Read More...]

Death and the Art of Dying Well

I have heard numerous stories from my pastor recalling the days he worked with the LAPD, yet the stories which stick out most are always those he has told about receiving the call to go to the scene of an individual’s death. The way they died has not stuck out so much as my pastor’s simple reminder t … [Read More...]

Introvert Forced To Serve As Greeter While Under Church Discipline

Poplar Bluff, MO - According to multiple reports, Brendan Kirby, a well-known introvert, was forced to serve as a greeter in his local church while under church discipline. Although Brendan remains unrepentant, the elders are hopefully he will come around soon.“Here at Life Lessons Baptist C … [Read More...]

Why is an Evangelical Pastor Excited About Moonlight Winning Best Picture?

I am an Evangelical pastor who is conservative theologically, believing the historic orthodox doctrines of Christianity, including the inerrancy of Scripture, the unique sufficiency of Christ, and the establishment of marriage as between one man and one woman. And I’m also excited that Moonlight won … [Read More...]

Today Women Are Striking, and I am Going to Work

Today is March 8th. Today is an important day for women as women all over the world are called to strike. I however, am going to work.I know a response may be, “you are a middle class white woman, who doesn’t know the first thing about oppression", and on the surface, maybe you wouldn’t think I k … [Read More...]

A Scriptural Argument For Infant Baptism

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and i … [Read More...]

Jesus: The Comforting and Threatening Light

Who is Jesus? It is a question that has been asked throughout history, from the religious leaders of the first century to the early church councils up through the ‘unbiased’ naturalists of the Jesus Seminar and the best-selling novel, soon to be movie, The Shack.In answering the question, Who is … [Read More...]

Beauty and the Beast’s Gay LeFou Shouldn’t Shock Anyone

It shouldn't really come as much of a surprise to anyone that the upcoming Beauty and the Beast revamp includes a gay rendition of the character LeFou. Disney has long been ahead of the curve when it comes to things like offering benefits to gay partners, despite the backlash they received from … [Read More...]

Bryan Adams Surprised To Learn of His Lifetime Achievement Dove Award

NASHVILLE, TN - Earlier this week, The Dove Awards committee announced that they will be presenting secular singer/songwriter Bryan Adams with a Lifetime Achievement Dove Award. Bryan Adams is best known for his string of 80's and 90's hits that include "The Summer of '69" and "(Everything I do) I … [Read More...]

BREAKING: Calvinist Makes It Full 19 Hours Without Starting A Debate

CHESAPEAKE, VA - The friends and family of Jon Kilgore were elated when they heard the news that Jon, a new calvinist, had made it a full 19 hours without trying to debate theology with someone. The 19 hour mark smashed his previous record of 45 minutes.“We are so proud of our boy, Jon” com … [Read More...]

You Carried Me – a Review of an Abortion Survivor Memoir

If we are brutally honest, most Westerners seek to avoid thinking about anything related to death, even though we know our trajectory leads to the grave. Our funerals are set up in a manner where this even rings true, as the mortician does their best to make the recently deceased look as if they are … [Read More...]

Even with Swole Arms, Steven Furtick Still Unable to Lift Truth from Bible

Elevation Church, North Carolina - In his rather candid and enigmatic style, Steven Furtick plainly told interviewers yesterday that despite his grueling gym routine, he is still having an immense amount of difficulty lifting truth out of the Bible.“I’ve been hitting the gym three times a day for … [Read More...]

A High Regard for Scripture is Not Bibliolatry

There generally seems to be confusion when I have made the claim that some readers are denying the authority of the scriptures when they disagree on matters of orthodoxy (i.e. Trinitarian teaching, homosexuality, women pastors, and even pastoral blunders). Most will come back with a pithy reply that … [Read More...]

Harmony in Cacophony: How to Select Biblical Songs for Corporate Worship

Ours is an age of unparalleled excess in the realm of worship music. Just 60 years ago, many churches only had one hymnal from which to select their hymns for the Sunday morning service. Now, in the digital age, churches have access CCLI, which boasts of having over 100,000 worship songs from which … [Read More...]

Man Finally Finds Perfect Use For His Copy of “The Shack”

JACKSON, MI – A local man is thrilled that he has finally found the perfect use for his copy of the book, The Shack. He was given the book from a person who will "remain nameless” last year and has been scrambling for productive uses ever since. It is now stabilizing a, previously wobbly, workbench i … [Read More...]

False Start: Christian Faith on the Altar of Football

If confession is good for the soul, then writing this post should be like spring cleaning for my heart. Hi, my name’s David and I have a football problem.I’m a loyal, 3rd-Generation Miami Dolphin fan (don’t laugh... “it’s root-root-root for the home team. If they don’t win, it’s a shame”). I’ve r … [Read More...]

After Canceling on Christmas, Megachurch to Demonstrate Faithfulness by Streaming Super Bowl During Worship

DALLAS, TX – Full Enjoyment Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas has announced they will be streaming The Super Bowl live during their regularly scheduled Sunday evening service. The announcement comes on the heels of some backlash the church received, after they canceled services on Christmas and New Yea … [Read More...]

Why You Shouldn’t See The Shack – but Why so Many Will

Mainline, Western Christianity has long had a problematic understanding of the doctrine of the Trinity. This has played out in various ways, whether it is through the various cults like Mormonism and Jehovah’s Witnesses, or simply due to biblical illiteracy and a painful lack of historical teaching o … [Read More...]

Did Jesus Ever Speak About Homosexuality?

Whenever I get into a discussion on homosexuality I almost always encounter the line, “Jesus never spoke about homosexuality.” The pro-homosexuality party uses it as a trump card, as if it utterly shows the Christian view to be inconsistent and wrong. In this article I wish to show two things: fir … [Read More...]