How To Prepare and Deliver A Sermon For A Funeral

Is there some biblical guidance for how to prepare for and deliver a sermon for a funeral? What Bible verses can we use to comfort the afflicted?

Funerals: Joy and Grief

Funerals can be considerably different and this depends upon whether the person has ever trusted in Christ or not. Some of the saddest funerals I have ever done are for those who we don’t know for sure if they were saved. For the Christian though, there is a much different perspective on things. They are no longer suffering or going through pain but they are present with God. We might grieve for their departure, and that is good and healthy, but if we knew what joy they were experiencing at that moment, we might be able to rejoice for them. Paul knew that the moment he died he’d be with the Lord as he wrote “we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Cor 5:8) writing “we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord” (2 Cor 5:6). In fact he was “torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far” (Phil 1:23). I like to think of the ground in which the believer is laid is not burial ground but resurrection ground. It’s not really goodbye but it’s “See you later.” For those not yet born again, it is goodbye. I once said at a funeral that if you hope to see this Christian again, then you must be born again. For those at the service who are not, it is goodbye…goodbye forever.

Favorite Bible Verses for Funerals

When a person passes from this life to the next, they are not really there in the ground or in ashes. The body is only a shell casing that formerly housed the person because they’re with Jesus at the moment of death. Jesus said “Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for all live to him” (Luke 20:38). Jesus spoke about Abraham as though he was still alive because he was. It’s not an end but the beginning of something so incredibly joyful that it can’t even be described.

Another great Bible verse to use for the Christian is “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 8 in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing” (2 Tim 4:6-8). Psalm 116:15 is comforting to the grieving as it says “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.” They may be gone but they are not forgotten. They may be missing on the earth but they are still alive, and in fact, they are more alive than ever.

Job 14:14-15 gives us an answer to the question, “If a man (or woman) dies, shall he live again? All the days of my service I would wait, till my renewal should come. You would call, and I would answer you; you would long for the work of your hands.” Job seemed to understand that if he died, he would be renewed or resurrected and see the Lord. God “would call, and [Job] would answer…” so Job knew that the Lord longed “for the work of [His] hands” which means that God longs for us to be fully present with Him. Yes, we long to be present with the Lord but the Lord also longs to be present with us (John 14:15). What a wonderful fact to ponder.

Paul wrote in 2nd Corinthians 5:1 “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” This body is decaying daily and passing away but God is building us “a house not made with hands” but an “eternal [one] in the heavens.” Our bodies might be destroyed but our heavenly body will never be. I believe Paul wrote “if we die, we die to the Lord” because the Roman Christians were be persecuted and many were being killed so this statement of Paul’s was reassuring.

First Thessalonians 4:14-17 says “For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.”

Things Not to Say to the Grieving

People might mean well but it’s not wise to say “You’ll get over it.” Do we actually ever “get over it?” I think a better thing to say is “I am so sorry for your loss…I know there is nothing that I can say that will really help.” We all have an appointed time to die (Heb 9:27) but I can’t see why it helps a grieving person to say “It was just their time.” What does that mean to a grieving person? It means that they are supposed to accept it and not try to grieve over it. We cannot explain to others what God Himself is silent about. The Bible says “weep with those who weep” (Rom 12:15) because that gives them more comfort than anything you could possibly say. Sometimes saying nothing is saying the most to those who are grieving. Another statement that is hard to accept is “I know what you are feeling” or “I know what you are going through.” We can say this if that person has lost a child, a spouse, a brother or whoever else the grieving person has lost. We might understand some of their pain but even then, no one but them and God knows exactly what they are going through and what they are feeling. I can sympathize with them and have compassion for their loss but truly, I don’t know what they’re going through. They and God alone knows what this feels like and I won’t pretend to say that I do, because I don’t.

Other Things to Avoid Saying

I would also avoid saying “They’re in a much better place now.” This may be true but it seems to make the grieving person feel that their grieving is irrational and unnecessary. This type of statement tries to justify the person’s passing while making the grieving person feel that they shouldn’t be grieving, the loss knowing where their loved one is now at. We also might tell someone to “be strong” but once again, this might sound like you’re trying to be encouraging but it’s hard to be told to be strong when you are still in the grieving process. Grieving is normal and it is healthy and in fact, tears serve a biological and emotional purpose because God wired us that way. I would be more concerned if the person who just lost a loved one didn’t grieve. Grieving is part of the natural healing process and to interrupt that natural function is to disrupt what God intended for us. Many who have fought the good fight are ready to “go home” to be “with the Lord.” Who can blame them? Many in the Corinthian church were confused like many believers are today about their beloved ones who have died in the faith. What is to become of their body? When Christ returns to judge the world of sin and to have believers rule with Him, He will play two roles; one is that of judge for those who refused to repent in this life and the other is the King and Savior of those who are His followers. When a believer dies, their spirit goes to be with the Lord but their physical body remains in the grave. At Christ’s second appearance, both body and spirit will be joined together again.

Outline for a Funeral

Opening prayer for God’s comfort for the departed one’s family and friends.

A eulogy or the reading the person’s life story like where they were born, what they did, who are the surviving members of the family, who were their parents, children, and grandchildren.

Appropriate Bible verses given in the above paragraphs.

Comforting thoughts about their future.

Preach the gospel for those who are not yet saved who are attending the funeral so that they might see their departed one again.

Prayer and internment (burial).

Conclusion

One lady once said “When we are born, we come into the world crying and surrounded by people full of joy…when we leave the world, we are full of joy surrounded by people who are crying.” What is our loss is their gain. What kind of legacy will you leave? Will it be, “Wow, he made a lot of money, she was a great boss,” or “he sure had a big house.” What will be on your gravestone? Would it be a Bible verse? Would it be an attribute? What will be the most vivid memory that you leave behind for your beloved spouse, children, grandchildren, or friends? What will be their most vivid memory? What things will they remember you doing for Jesus Christ? Was Jesus most precious to you? What would your eulogy be like?

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Blind Chance or Intelligent Design available on Amazon.