Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ready to Die” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ready to Die” Edition April 7, 2013

My pastor asked me when I got to church today, “You’ve gotta ask yourself; do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?!?” Little did I know it was pledge Sunday. DAMMIT!

Who, us? A Cult? Pssssh! Yeah, we kinda are.
Too busy to spell check your sign? You’re probably praying too much.
Only enter if you’re ready to die.
No joke: my cousin actually shocked his mom in a farm supply store with a cattle prod. I wonder if he went to church afterward?
Problem is, when you find God at this church, your mystery sibling will come out from the sacristy and hit you over the head with a chair.
Yes, please, for the love of Pete, stop studying science and just obey for once. How do you expect us to keep you in line otherwise?
If I get to decide, doesn’t that kinda, yaknow, nullify the preceding statement? Just sayin’.
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