Intentional Communities – Radical Schoolrooms of Unconditional Love

For most of us, nothing satisfies quite like a sense of true belonging. The hopes, goals and aspirations of communities inspire and energize their members. But challenges, too, abound in the creation and evolution of communities. I believe that the higher the goals and the more sincere the intentionality of the group, the higher the expectations and the deeper the challenge and potential for its members and participants. The word communion refers to a mutual sharing, a blending of two sets of thoughts and feelings, a mutual understanding of a psychological and/or spiritual nature. The word community denotes an interacting body of individuals having a common history, a likeness, a fellowship within a larger society. Communion is the act of being consciously present in a community of like-inspired souls. If we learn to expand true communion through community, can this “open” state of Soul, be the key and entry point into a fellowship of and respect for all sentient beings?

Remembering Communion

What makes communion with even one “other” possible? The first communion, it seems to me, is triggered by some kind of remembering.

In Emmanuel’s Book II: The Choice for Love, by Pat Rodegast, Emmanuel describes the “amnesia” regarding our true essence, that we experience through incarnation:

“Remember the experience of finally aligning yourself with physicality. It was that moment when you realized that you were frightened of somebody else, when you pulled back your trusting hands, veiled your adoring eyes, and put the lock and key on your heart.” (165)

At the beginning, we are all unafraid, trusting, adoring, and open-hearted. We all come to bring love to the world, as every young child brings love to the world. But, life experience teaches us otherwise. Life experiences teach us to be fearful of our vulnerability. Life teaches us that somehow “the world” can’t be trusted.

To engage in communion, I must in some way become as I was, at the beginning. How do I do that? How do I open up?

I think the first step is to recognize that I am as I describe myself – a woman, a wife, a mother, an artist, a loyal friend, and that I am much more. I am both body and spirit united, inhabiting this physical plane, though my spirit self may lay hidden or unrecognized even by me. We are all repeatedly rescued by Spirit which has a tendency to break through, to leak out in unexpected places and moments, drawn from us by the toothless smile of an infant, the unabashed honesty of an embarrassed mate, the tenderness of a thoughtful touch, or the timeless smile of an understanding, old friend.

When we have these experiences, do we recognize/acknowledge them, trust them as experiences of unconditional love? Do we know that that fullness of heart we physically feel is spirit expanding through the boundaries of our physical bodies, through the intermittent space, reaching, encompassing and blending in communion with the “other”?

We begin to risk being vulnerable in a community of two. We have the potential for unconditional love in our close relationships. We fall in love. We say, “I am in love with you.” Let’s just play with these words a bit. I am in love with you. I am with you in love. Love evolves from something I am doing, into something I am being.

How do we take this existence in love, this meeting of life with love, further into community and further still into the brotherhood and sisterhood of all sentient beings?

The Face of Love in Community

Our communities make this next step possible, but communities present challenges, as well. Because communities are intentional – ideals based, ideology based and/or spiritually based – does not exempt them from the effects of “human” actions, reactions and interactions. For this reason, we must recognize that no community is immune to conflict, or better said, no community is immune to evolution.

Within community, communion becomes much more complicated. There are people with whom I am in community, who are not necessarily “my friends.” If I believe that everything happens for a reason and that life is not just a game of chance, then my presence in any community I choose to join, is neither a mistake nor an accident. I don’t pick and choose each person within my community, yet we are drawn in and together by a likeness, a fellowship of purpose, perhaps even a karmic purpose, which seeks an even deeper, more transformative resolution, a purification. A crucible, so to speak.

When our goals are lofty, particularly when our goals are lofty – peace, compassion, justice – we can convince ourselves, or begin to believe that everything else in our lives, in our being, is “of the highest order,” as well. Just look at what we are working on! But everything we engage with, everything, “works us over,” bit by bit, through and through. And we inevitably find inconsistencies and inadequacies within ourselves where we never knew they existed.

And, while we may join together for a single, shared purpose, we are in no way one-dimensional creatures. We each come as a complete package and depending on the amount of interacting required, we will encounter each other’s “rough” spots, as we walk the community’s path together. We will likely even find over time that our understanding of appropriate actions for our communal purpose itself requires “fleshing out.”

We are so different from each other – even “difficult” in the estimation of another. We ask ourselves –How can they think what they think, believe what they believe, do what they do? If I felt an affinity for them, they’d already be my friends. So, the more relevant questions become, why are they in my life, what sort of questions do they pose for me, what about myself are they forcing me to look at, and which of my buttons are they so successful at pushing? And, how can I hold them in my thoughts and in my heart in a way that is consistent with my ideals for myself and for the community of which I am a part?

Remembering experiences of communion, perhaps I can move toward trust. If I trust, I have the courage to be more open. But, do I have the courage – to be truly vulnerable? I remember that we all come to bring love to the world, but our experiences have molded us. Yet, our experiences however deeply felt and experienced, are, in fact, surface. Our experiences are not who we are. There is something much greater that runs deep within us all. And that is what makes communion with another, within communities and in the greater world possible.

San Francisquito Creek

Yesterday, I received a gift of a visual aid from Mother Nature on this very subject. I was without a car and I walked from California Street in Palo Alto to Menlo Park along the busy El Camino Real. What I noticed was the hardscape – layer upon layer of asphalt and concrete – broken concrete, new concrete – dried weeds, litter, discarded things – new built upon old, repair upon repair.

And I thought to myself – kind of like me and perhaps a bit like you (though you’ll have to speak for yourself). The hardscape around me was like layers of experience shored up by more experiences – at times truth breaking through – remnants of discarded ideas, themes, and expectations, sharing space with shiny new dreams, sturdy, steady relationships and beloved heartsongs.

But I didn’t know what ran underneath it all. As I approached the border between Palo Alto and Menlo Park, I noticed that the road became almost imperceptibly, a bridge. I leaned over the edge and discovered that beneath the El Camino, underneath it all, was a clear, swift, running, bubbling creek- the San Francisquito- skipping and tripping over stones. The view of this creek stood in such stark contrast to the world above that I was stunned. It was green and cool, glistening in the sunlight, nurturing the grasses and wild flowers, the fish, the bees and the butterflies, the raccoons, the birds, the squirrels, amphibians and rodents, and even the occasional canine off-leash. They know to seek the running water of the stream. It quenches their thirst and it holds great wonders and curiosities.

Our commitment to community brings us to the doorway. It is up to us to walk through the doorway and encounter openly, consciously what we find there. It teaches us the skills we need to expand our community fellowship to a fellowship of all sentient beings. It exercises our spiritual muscles with a bit of safety net underneath in the form of our shared commitment to a cause. The stream satisfies our thirst and draws us into community in order for us to learn that we are one. Creation will “spare no expense” to help us see the forgotten reality of this dream called life.

So what in me meets with what in you? What do you think?