Bunnies Don’t Lay Eggs? Who Knew?

Bunnies Don’t Lay Eggs? Who Knew? March 25, 2015

So a relative of mine was at the mall, and heard a father say to two very small crying children who wanted to see the Easter Bunny,

Birds and reptiles lay eggs! Bunnies don’t! We don’t support the Easter Bunny, how many times can I say this!

I can understand not wanting to stand in line for the Easter bunny, especially with two little ones who were probably over-tired already, so I don’t think this dad is a monster for not wanting to do it. But I’m fascinated by what he had to say.

Lay the eggs?  How simply ghastly!
Lay the eggs? How simply ghastly!
  • First, he’s trying to reason with toddlers. Dude—this is a losing proposition. Explain things to them, certainly; some of it might stick. But trying to persuade a crying toddler to see sweet reason is pointless. (Been there, done that, it didn’t work for me either.) This is a classic newbie-father mistake, so I don’t want to bang on him too hard for it.
  • “Birds and reptiles lay eggs! Bunnies don’t!” Um…who ever said the Easter Bunny lays the eggs? He carries them in a basket, which is presumably filled by hard-boiled elf-hens, and then he hides them. It’s kind of the reverse of laying them, do you see? Seriously, dude, when your strongest argument against the Easter Bunny is that he can’t lay his own eggs it’s time to reconsider your strategy.
  • “We don’t support the Easter bunny!” We don’t support the Easter Bunny? What, is he asking for campaign contributions? He’s trying to unseat Santa Claus at the next primary?
  • “How many times can I say this!” Once is too many.
Call me 'Elf Plucky'
Call me ‘Elf Plucky’

Dude, I can see that you oppose the Easter Bunny. Possibly you’re trying to raise your kids to be free-thinkers; possibly you belong to a religion that doesn’t celebrate Easter; possibly you just don’t want to stand in line to have expensive pictures taken with a man in a bunny suit. All of these are fine reasons to avoid the ordeal.

But I can see you’re grasping at straws. So what you do is you say, calmly, “We’re not going to do that today.” And then, as many times as needed, “Because I said so.” Also calmly. Because you’re the father, and you say so.

photo credit: Mr. Turtle is out by the well via photopin (license)

photo credit: Chicken 11×14-7830 via photopin (license)

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