Cardi B, Christ, and Consistency in the Trump Era

Cardi B, Christ, and Consistency in the Trump Era March 28, 2019

 

 

 

Photo by Brendan Church on Unsplash

 

 

Cardi B and Consistency

This week’s information-overload outrage focused on Cardi B. According to her own confession she had a habit of drugging and robbing men. After making this announcement, she follows up with the statement: “Nothing was motherf*cking handed to me.” Well, no, Cardi B, you had to take it- like you said. And sometimes, we are all put in a position to take things when we know deep down we shouldn’t.

As much as I don’t like hearing that anyone drugged or stole from people; Cardi B didn’t contradict herself. She recognizes (as we all should) that people change and grow, and that we have the capacity to learn from our mistakes. She owned her shit. I appreciate that about her.

Yeah, I Did It

It’s refreshing, for me anyway, when I see a celebrity get caught up in a headline and they don’t  defend, excuse, or justify why they did it. It’s a great reminder for how human we all actually are when one is willing to say “Yeah, I did it.” We need more influences that show us how to own our mistakes and take accountability for consequence. If only all of Hollywood was willing to show that. If only all of humanity was willing to own their story.

We don’t like to own our shit. We would rather apologize and make up excuses. The thought of having to actually practice what we preach and stand by our claims is too much for many to consider. For many, consistency matters, but only in context. Many are willing to confess to their failure to practice what they preach only if they can exploit it or benefit from it.

We All Make Mistakes

Full-disclosure: I have made mistakes. I even support revealing mistakes -it humanizes us. It reveals that we all have scars that left a mark. We share things about ourselves so that others can see that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Cardi B demonstrated (in a circuitous way) principles that Brene’ Brown writes and speaks to. Brown says: “When we deny the story it defines us. When we write the story, we can write a brave new ending.”

Cardi B owned her story, she didn’t deny it. Which is the point I believe she was trying to make in her confession. She was being consistent with telling it like it is, even if it was hard for many to accept.

Differing Weights

If we are a people who live by the conviction that we are called by Christ- that we are in Christ; then I would argue that living in Christ includes a little consistency. Why? Contradictions and double-standards are merely just differing weights and unbalanced scales. Psalm 20:23 offers us a reminder, for those who beg to differ:

 

Differing weights are an abomination to the Lord, and false scales are not good.

Ask yourself if you apply the same standard to all aspects of your life? Would you allow your romantic partner to, on the one hand, hold to the position that God loves all people; but on the other hand, take another position that excludes LBTQI individuals from such love? No! That is a contradiction. All people means all people, no matter what an individual’s sexual preference.

If an individual is willing to forgive their own spouse for sexual adultery, but then is not willing to extend the same forgiveness of another form of adultery to anyone else, that is inconsistent with the concept of unconditional love. That is an application of differing weights.

No Record of Wrongs?

We are always so willing to embrace, love, and edify people until they make a mistake. When a mistake is made, even if it’s owned, most of us cling to that one event as though that one act defines the individual for eternity.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinth. 13: 4-5)

For most of us, that principle application is altogether ignored. It’s fun to preach the verse, but practicing it is a very difficult task.

What’s Christ-like about Cardi B?

Cardi B has publicly demonstrated that despite what happened in her personal life, she is willing to be patient and not keep record of wrongs. For me and many others who have experienced infidelity in relationships, practicing what we preach- “in sickness and health, for better or worse”- is a cornerstone to living in Christ. Unconditional love is difficult as hell, but this is consistent with keeping no record of wrongs.

Consistency sometimes looks like denying yourself. It looks like taking your feelings and pain out of the equation for a moment to consider the other, and the other’s feelings first, without predicating your love on conditions.

If we are really going to represent ourselves in the Body of Christ, doesn’t that look like embracing others even when their past is revealed to us? Are we more concerned with the past or the present?

Information Overload Interrupts Consistency

Consistency matters but most people aren’t even aware of what that looks like- in practice or thought. It’s hard to know, truly, because we are inundated with massive amounts of information on a daily basis. It’s called “information overload” and it’s a real problem for many of us who utilize the internet. This very real diagnosis makes it hard for us to stay in the present moment.

We are flooded with excessive amounts of information each day and we are swayed to rush to judgment with each headline. With so much to process, we often skip over examining things for accuracy. Which means we may even fail to realize whether or not we are being consistent with our own values when we opine and pick sides to defend. Awareness of this overload- which affects most of us- can help reduce it.

Insta-reactions interrupt consistency and that makes it difficult for us to really critically examine what we are reacting to and asking ourselves why we are reacting. These types of reactions also give us room to justify dismissing our core principles in Christ. If we are judging others or withholding our love from others, are we really being true to the teachings of the Way?

Trump Culture of Contradiction

There was a time when we demanded consistency from our elected officials, wasn’t there? A time when we noticed that what our President practiced- what policies they supported- matched what they preached on the campaign trail. Today. we observe POTUS contradict himself on a daily basis and still claim that he was ordained by God.

We feign outrage when we discover that Cardi B, in a vulnerable state, offered up a shocking revelation about her past; yet we dismiss Trump’s “grab ’em by the pu**y” locker room talk. Have we ever asked ourselves why we are willing to reject one act and accept another?

Don’t get me wrong- we often contradict ourselves. It’s our awareness of our contradictions that really matters. As Walt Whitman once wrote:

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.

We do contain multitudes, and with an ever increasing influx of information available to us; we have the ability to consider multitudes of perspectives. Sometimes, in our haste to consider all that we can, we fail to apply the standards of logic prior to resting upon a particular perspective worthy of our support and defense.

How to Be More Like Cardi B

Conflict can lead to intimacy and understanding. A contradiction is itself, a conflict, and can also lead to intimacy. How? Awareness. We are not going to escape contradiction. The conflict of this contradiction has already revealed itself.

So, own it and own it well- own it like Cardi B. When you are willing to own your story, it combats shame. Consider a Cardi B approach rather than calling everything “fake news” and refusing to see the error of your way. To remain consistent going forward, slow down and analyze your rush to judgment. Let go of the need to be right or to win. Constantly trying to save face doesn’t strengthen your connection to another, it weakens your signal.

I have found that once I stopped clinging to my need to appear right, it was much easier to admit when I messed up. Do you know what’s so truly magical about admitting our mistakes? It liberates us. It releases a lot of weight off our shoulders. It can bring us closer to another.

A Cardi B Approach is a Christ-like Approach

If by admitting that one is “wrong”, it could strengthen the connection and offer healing at the same time; wouldn’t you be willing to take that leap of faith? Deny thyself. Deny the egoist habit of wanting to protect your pride. Reject the conformist staple of agreeing with the crowd.

Cardi B didn’t back-peddle. She admitted that what she was beyond inappropriate. She offered herself as she is and didn’t demand people forgive her and look past her past. We are not our mistakes, we are not our past.

If we really mean what we say, when we say: all people are loved, accepted, and included; then we damn well better start practicing what we preach.  Be consistent! Be like Cardi B, be like the Son of G-O-D; forgive them, for they know not what they do.

 

 

About Danielle Kingstrom
Danielle Kingstrom is an author, podcaster, and home-school teacher. She cohosts the podcast: Book Ish- The Canon Continues. She lives in Minnesota, with her husband Cory, and their five children. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Brandon Roberts

    stop making excuses for her, if this was a man who admitted to drugging and robbing women you’d be crying for blood, this is not ok.

  • Statistics Palin

    I’m fucking tired of feminist cvnts with double standards. Cardi B should be in jail.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    Thanks for your engagement. I have to ask, if you wanted me to see your point, do you think insulting me and women in general, is a good approach?
    Did Cardi B deny what she did? Not in the least. Did she brag about it or did she come from a vulnerable place to reveal a little bit about herself?
    If there are charges filed against her, I would prefer to let the justice system handle this appropriately.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    I recently heard someone point out that Cardi B has never hidden who she was. She was a gang member long ago. She ran with a rough crowd. The question posed after the observation was this: Why would a man, who knew that about her, willingly go anywhere with her then?
    In her followup statement (which I linked in my blog), she does mention these were men she was dating. Had they felt infringed, wouldn’t they have filed charges?
    I never once condoned her actions. I condoned how she handled the media attention, which came all too timely, if you ask me.
    Her video is still available on her IG account. She didn’t try to make it go away, she owned it. That was the only point of my article. To own our stories and not hide from them.

  • Statistics Palin

    I don’t insult women or feminists in general. I insult you for your sexism in defending Cardi B’s depraved indifference to the lives of men. She could have picked their pockets. She could have stolen food or stolen from a cash register. She chose to poison people. Redemption without atonement for violent crime is bullshit.

    Not all women are insulted by my remark any more than all men are insulted when a man is called a prick. Deal with it. Get over your fucked-up victim-complex entitlement.

  • Statistics Palin

    So any man who went with her asked for it? How is that any different from telling a woman she asked to be raped?

    She owned her actions? Show me where she approached police and turned herself in? BTW, she was arrested last October for assault and depraved indifference to human life. Cut the feminist Christian bullshit. You’re hero-worshipping a psychopath and applying her standards.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    Well, thank you for clarifying why it’s ok to be inconsistent with your ways. It wasn’t sexism. It was examination. So, you are upset because she didn’t steal the way you would have preferred?

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    Is that what I said or is that what you are inferring?
    Perhaps you could go reread what I stated and then allow a bit of time to reflect on it before you react? I wrote about mindfulness, have you seen that particular blog? I think it could offer insight here, for you. Be well.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    I appreciate that you have a differing perspective. What I know is this. I think and see things differently than you do, I am a woman, and I am guessing you are a man. We are already coming from two opposite points of view.
    But be careful, you shouldn’t assume women would either be with you or against you on your remark. How could you come to such a conclusion, logically, unless you have asked every woman?
    Less generalizations would be more helpful if you want to continue to engage. Otherwise, let’s just call this a day and not drain each other of energy. Thanks and be well!

  • Statistics Palin

    She poisoned people. I’ve never stolen from anyone. However, I’d rather have my wallet stolen than be drugged and have my wallet stolen. Since you consider a psychopath your role model, I thought I’d make that clear. I value my health more than my wealth.

  • Statistics Palin

    You’re absolutely right.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    Clearly, you are not a fan of my writing. Maybe it would be best if you stopped commenting? I mean, I appreciate being challenged on my perspective, but I would hope that it had a little more depth for me to consider. Blanket insults are just such an energy drain to both of us.
    P.S. Psychopathy is undoubtedly has a presence within our culture, but as for me, I do not fall into this category. But I appreciate your diagnosis. 🙂 Be well. And thanks for reading!

  • I agree with “Stat” just below this text box. Should that level of tiredness include you? Let me point out some of your “shit.” First one: “…grab her by the p***y…” is NOT something Trump said while campaigning for President! I think you know that, but you introduced it in your article anyway. Since you enjoy Cardi B’s profanity so much, I think I’ll use some. Quoting that old quotation as if Trump had said it on the “campaign trail” makes you a damn liar does it not? Tell us, are you going to “own” YOUR shit? Oh, and here’s another one: Donald Trump does NOT call “everything” fake news. Just those so-called “journalists” who are nothing more than lapdogs for the Trump-hating democrats and the DNC. OMG! You really are trying to smuggle your hatred and unforgiving spirit into your theology aren’t you? Do you really think more Christians should be like Cardi B? Should we all start saying “F***K” more often? Like maybe from the pulpit? I can’t help but wonder why you are so tolerant, and so forgiving toward Cardi B, but not so toward Donald Trump? I was glad to see you say that “we are not our past,” and “we are not our mistakes” … even if you don’t extend that truth to Donald Trump. You will most likely have me banned from any further postings … that’s what a couple other hypocrite, self-righteouss A-Holes have done when someone points out THEIR “inconsistencies.” You could have made your article much shorter by simply saying, “…I hate Donald Trump’s profanity, but I love Cardi B, and her shit is okay…”

  • Would you consider it insulting to point out the obvious fact that you seem to be totally oblivious to your own inconsistencies? Your ariticle has them! But nevertheless, be well.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    As much as I enjoy participating in dialogues…this once seems predicated on defending Trump. Thanks for reading my article. Be well.

  • Danielle Kingstrom

    I am so happy for you! Enjoy your day. Be well.

  • ThatsReallyGr8

    She didn’t do the right thing then, and she’s not doing the right thing now.
    Your position on her criminal acts is frankly, disgusting, and not “refreshing”.
    If she turned her self in and signed a confession and thru herself at the mercy of the court and her victims.
    That would be “refreshing”.
    Way to cover for your fellow women no matter what horrible acts they have committed.
    Way to gloss over the (–> “RAPE” <–) part of the confession like she didn't even say it.
    You should be ashamed of your self for trying to justify her horrible crimes.
    If a male had done any of the things she has done you would move heaven and earth to get justice for the victims. You sicken me.
    What's next child rape? Genocide? s/ Wake up to your own hypocrisy.

  • Nanaverm

    Did Cardi B ever admit that what she did was wrong? Her supporting statement seems to be trying to justify her actions, even if she doesn’t drug and rob men anymore. As a female, this is horrifying to me. Yes, we should be able to show our undersides to others, but with the awareness and “mea culpa” that shows we are trying not to continue in that direction. Liked your statement about weighing sins, though.

  • She has teased the idea of discussing it on her IG account, but then back-peddled, from what I have gathered. I don’t want to make excuses for her, but perhaps she just doesn’t know how to handle this?

  • Well, thanks for reading and sharing your opinions.