A Catholic mother and autism: “What families seek from the church is security and support”

A friend of mine, Shana Buck, offers a personal perspective on this important issue over at The Font: 

When I read about the Holy Father addressing the needs of individuals with autism, I was elated. My husband and I have three children “in the spectrum” — a 23 year old daughter, Luci, with moderate Asperger’s; an 18 year old son, Austin, with what was once called pervasive developmental disorder, and 11 year-old Nicholas, with moderate autism.

Our children are all individuals, with different strengths and weaknesses, and one single “program” could possibly address all of their needs. What families seek from the church is a sense of security and support when their children are at Mass, or in religious education. Our parish has been extremely helpful to our spectrum children, and so — while the Holy Father has people paying attention to this issue — I want to seize the moment and encourage other parishes by sharing the constructive effects of small accommodations.

Our priests have been exceedingly thoughtful to our ASD children. When my daughter made her confirmation, every effort was made by our pastor and our Director of Religious Education (DRE) to help her feel comfortable. Luci cannot stay in the church when there are people moving around; she becomes anxious and has what looks much like a panic attack. When it is time for Holy Communion, she receives and then leaves for the vestibule until everyone else has received, and then she returns to the pew. At Confirmation, she was permitted to sit at the end of the pew, and be confirmed first, so she could sit in the vestibule for the remaining confirmations. Our DRE explained her need to Bishop Michael Bransfield, who agreed to Luci’s unusual request. In this way our daughter’s needs were met without causing a great distraction to the proceedings, but she was still accounted and accepted as part of the group — welcomed, rather than isolated.

Nicholas, our son with moderate autism, also has mild mental retardation due to an oxygen-depriving defect at birth. He actually loves music, but is greatly stressed by our choir. I do not know if it is because the music is too loud, or if it is because some of the older people in the choir occasionally sing off-key, and he can’t handle discordant sounds.

Our previous pastor added two Masses to our schedule with permission of our bishop, and he decided that these two Masses would be music-free. Though we did not request this, we quickly took full advantage of it. One of those Masses is at 7:30 AM, and Nicholas attends it weekly with his father and his brother Austin who — after discovering that he is more peaceful and prayerful when serving as an altar boy — has become the permanent server for that Mass.

Please read it all. God bless Shana, her husband and their remarkable family.

Some months back, I posted on a special Mass for kids with special needs. Read about it here. And take a look, below.