Bishop vs. deacon arm-wrestling match

Can you guess who won?

Details: 

There were no 1980s Rocky Balboa training montages and no official weigh-in for contenders during the inaugural Man Alive arm-wresting challenge. But in the title fight, the “Melee on Main Street,” Bishop Gary Gordon of Victoria squared off against Deacon Paul Goo in an epic bout.

Before the match, I cornered Bishop Gordon. He said Father Bryan Duggan, the associate vocations director of the archdiocese, had blind-sided him with the request. “He said to me, ‘You’re arm-wrestling Deacon Goo,'” the bishop recalled.

Deacon Goo joked, “This is the last step for a deacon before being admitted to the priesthood.” He said Bishop Gordon would have a “serious advantage in polar-bear wrestling.”

Instead of listening to pump-up music while working out, Bishop Gordon prefers to “just hear the angels sing.” An avid fisherman and hiker, his routine includes playing fetch with his beloved golden retriever, Merlin.

“I’m the reigning dogsled champion of the north,” the former bishop of Whitehorse deadpanned.

Mark McGuckin, the ringside announcer, and a student at the Seminary of Christ the King in Mission, took the stage:

“In the blue corner, hailing from the majestic land of South Korea; devourer of fried chicken, lover of kung-fu movies, seasoned proclaimer of the Gospel: Deacon Paul Goo!

“Goo, Goo, Goo!” a crowd of men chanted while the deacon walked to the match table.

McGuckin called the bishop forward. “Lover of diesel engines and chunky soup, terror of polar bears, His Excellency of Execution, Bishop Gary Gordon!”

In the sport of arm-wrestling, the contestants must only use one hand, grip the opponent’s hand, and try to force it down onto the table.

In the match’s first minute, the deacon steadily forced the bishop’s hand downwards. Bishop Gordon looked like he was on the ropes, but the dogsledding champ made a comeback; gradually he brought Deacon Goo’s hand upwards, and went on the offensive.

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