9 Reasons ‘Trumpy Bear’ is a Sham: The Cuddlefication of a Despot  

9 Reasons ‘Trumpy Bear’ is a Sham: The Cuddlefication of a Despot   December 27, 2017

I saw the commercial for Trumpy Bear while flipping through cable television and thought it was a joke.

Trumpy Bear

A deep voice begins:

“The wind whispered through the forest.” [Picture of beautiful mossy forest.]

“A storm is coming . . . you cannot defeat the storm.” [Lightning in storm clouds.]

“From the trees rose a resounding voice.”  [Back to same picture of forest.]

“I fear nothing.” [Huge grizzly bear baring fangs superimposed on forest.]

“I come when the Trumpet sounds.” [Close up on bear’s teeth.]

Trumpy Bear grizzly

“I am the storm, the great American grizzly.” [Red, white and blue confetti flies.]

“Introducing the original Trumpy Bear.” [Teddy bear appears with red tie and shock of trademark orange hair.]

“The fearless, super-plush American grizzly.”

An American flag waves across the screen and reveals a woman holding the stuffed bear, unzipping his neck and pulling an American flag out of his back.

“Wrap yourself in the red, white and blue for comforting warmth.”

Trumpy Bear hangs on a flag pole, a flag flying above him, and his own flag draped down his back.

Trumpy Bear on flag pole

“Show your patriotism.  Proudly display Trumpy Bear on Flag Day and on any American holiday.”

Trumpy Bear is perched atop a household shrine to a soldier, between two lit candles.

“Trumpy Bear can even honor your own American heroes.”

An elderly white woman stands in front of a flag and declares, “God bless America.  And God bless Trumpy Bear!”

Trumpy Bear rides at the front of a motorcycle, cruising down the road with a former Marine.

“I’m proud to have Trumpy Bear ride by my side.”

Trumpy Bear rides in the back of a golf cart.

“Trumpy Bear makes my golf game great again.  Thanks, Trumpy Bear!”

Trumpy Bear sits in a leather chair, held on a woman’s lap, his orange shock of hair carefully groomed.

Trumpy Bear on lap

“Simply style Trumpy Bear’s trademark hair and place him in his favorite chair.”

A black man sits in an office with Trumpy Bear behind him, wearing a MAGA cap.

“When America is great, business is great.  When business is great, I’m great.  I love you, Trumpy Bear.”

Trumpy Bear nestles in the lap of an elderly white male veteran.

“I am proud to own a Trumpy Bear, and I’ll always be proud to be an American.”

Order now for only 2 payments of $19.95!

Order Trumpy Bear

I watched with gaping, disgusted incredulity.  Is this for real?

Yes.  I’m not making this up.

It’s not a bad SNL skit.  It’s not a homemade Youtube video.  This crap is real, and it is really bad.

Let’s dissect this propaganda bear with 9 reasons why it’s an insult, a mockery, and a sham.

One. Teddy Roosevelt would be rolling in his grave.

The first Teddy Bear was named after the 26th president in 1902.  When Theodore Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear on a hunting excursion, a toy bear was created in his honor and has been one of the most popular stuffed animals ever since.  Roosevelt was known for his conservation efforts, setting aside 230 acres for public land, and establishing national parks across the nation.  Trump is the exact opposite of everything Roosevelt stood for.  Trump is undoing the national park system, allowing roads to be built in protected areas, authorizing mining and drilling operations, and auctioning lands to the highest bidder for fracking.  He is single-handedly dismantling Roosevelt’s legacy.  Not to mention the bitter irony of creating a bear to symbolize the man whose sons display game-hunting carcasses“I fear nothing”? You better run, Trumpy Bear, because those cowardly men with guns are coming for you!

Two. Zincke removed the Yellowstone Grizzly Bear from Endangered Species protection.

The Secretary of the Interior claims that the grizzly is no longer in need of protection.  Environmental groups and Native Americans disagree.  Climate change threatens the animals, and Native Americans consider the bear sacred. So the commercial is a sham. “I come when the Trumpet sounds”? Not only is this ridiculous in its messianic allusion, no bears would be left if Zincke and Trump have their way.

Three. Trumpy Bear is an offence to the American flag.

Trumpy Bear, flag out of back

The flag coming out of Trumpy Bear’s backside truly represents Trump’s regard for the flag.  But the hole should really be at the other end.  Because his utter desecration of the office of the president makes a mockery of everything America is supposed to represent. Honesty, integrity, honor, morality, dignity, and intelligence are no longer valued. “Wrap yourself in the red, white and blue for comforting warmth”?  Lies, manipulation, xenophobia, racism, and international bullying are the threads of the suffocating blanket of this president.

Four.  Trumpy Bear sets a terrible example for kids.

Why not go all in with a Teddy Ruxpin-style upgrade implanted with Trump’s signature phrases?  Go ahead, kids, pull the string and hear the all-time favorites from the mouth of Trumpy Bear:

“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”  “They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists.”    “The point is, you can never be too greedy.”  “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”

And best of all:  “Grab ‘em by the pussy!”  Parents will love that one!

Which brings us to . . .

Five. Get that Trumpy Bear off your lap, woman, before he grabs your privates with his tiny paws!

 Trump has been accused of sexual misconduct by 19 women.  And those are just the ones who have come forward.  His conduct toward women has been, well, deplorable.  He ridicules high-profile women who he finds threatening, and demeans women who do not meet his standards of beauty.  The Access Hollywood tape of his misogynistic attitude and actions of sexual aggression and violence toward women says it all.  Trumpy Bear shouldn’t be anywhere near any female.

Six.  Trumpy Bear is an insult to American veterans.

Trump has a history of insulting veterans, including Senator John McCain and Gold Star familiesHis plans to privatize the VA would have harmful impacts on veterans. And his transgender ban on military personnel is an ignorant, uninformed decision that jeopardizes the military careers and VA benefits of transgender soldiers willing to die for their country.  Not to mention that Trump managed to avoid the draft 5 times“Proud to ride with Trumpy Bear”?  Have some self-respect, and respect for this country’s military personnel.

Seven.  Trumpy Bear is an insult to African Americans and all people of color.

Seeing a black actor portray a business man and claim that he is “great” because Trump is making business great is an affront to Americans of color.  Trump has bashed black football players for peacefully protesting police brutality by kneeling during the National Anthem (“Get that son-of-a-bitch off the field!”).  He has pandered to white nationalists, calling them “very fine people.”  And his policies – from the tax scam to the gutting of public education under Betsy Devos – will further harm blacks and other people of color in this country.  “I love you, Trumpy Bear”? Stockholm Syndrome much?

Eight. Trumpy Bear will maul senior citizens.

The tax “reform” bill will result in slashing Medicare and Medicaid, two programs that are lifelines for millions of senior citizens.  If you are old, weak, or poor in Trumpy Bear country, you are about to feel the brunt of those massive teeth.  “God bless Trumpy Bear”? Not only is this blasphemy, it’s also a complete travesty for the elderly actors in that commercial to tout such propaganda.

Nine.  The real “storm” from Trumpy Bear will come from climate disruption gone wild.

“A storm is coming . . . you cannot defeat the storm.”  Well, at least the commercial got this right, but for different reasons.  Three catastrophic storms in Houston, Florida and Puerto Rico marked Trump’s first year in office, as he pulled the U.S. from the Paris Climate Accord.  And dropped climate change from the national security strategy. And had the EPA scrap the Clean Power Plan.

That leaves us with your golf game.

Trumpy Bear golfing

Will Trumpy Bear really make your golf game great again?  Well, considering that Trump has spent more time on the golf course than any other president in his first year of office, maybe you’ll suck up some of that tee-time via osmosis by having Trumpy Bear riding on your golf cart. According to Golf News Net, Trump has been on the grounds of his golf courses or played golf elsewhere 85 times since becoming President.  He has spent nearly 25% of his days in office at one of his golf properties.  So far, Trump’s golfing has cost American taxpayers tens of millions of dollars.  “Thanks Trumpy Bear!”

Yeah.  Thanks a lot.

“I am proud to own a Trumpy Bear, and I’ll always be proud to be an American”?

No.  I am disgraced by this piece of propaganda – made in China, no less.  And I’m ashamed to be an American with Trump as president. The only thing that gives me pride is to see the millions resisting this despotic regime.  [Read Paul Krugman’s well-written assessment of 2017. It helps me gear up for 2018.]

I can think of only 1 reason to spent over $40 (with shipping) on this bear.

It would make a great protest prop!

On second thought, send your money to help save actual grizzly bears.

Grizzly bear, Yellowstone National Park. Public domain.
Grizzly bear, Yellowstone National Park. Public domain.

Save the Yellowstone Grizzly is a good place to start. So is the Center for Biological Diversity, and  Defenders of Wildlife. Each of these organizations has information on how you can help save real grizzly bears from Trumpy Bear.

orange doll hair

If you really want a prop for the protest, put down a couple bucks on some orange doll hair, and let the Trump effigies begin!


Follow Leah D. Schade on:

Twitter: @LeahSchade

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LeahDSchade/.

Read more of Leah’s posts on Trump, politics, and resistance:

Mr. Trump, Here’s What’s Wrong with Calling People ‘Animals’

‘In God We Trump’ – Film Review

No, Mr. Pruitt, Fossil Fuels Are Not God’s ‘Blessing’ for Humanity

What to do When Your President is a Fake Wrestling Goon

Preaching MLK’s “Drum Major Instinct” in the Trump Era

Exit Paris? Enter Pentecost! A Christian Response to Reneging on the Climate Promise


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