Over the past week I have been cleaning and resetting my altar spaces. It started from a place of seasonal change in general, but the more I moved, the more I realized a problem. I had become so focused on the work with my Deities, that I hadn’t been talking as much with my ancestors. I have also been struggling with something in my life, something with which my Deities have been little help with. Not because They won’t, but because it is not Their area in my practice – it is the Ancestors domain. In the neglect of my ancestral work, grew a reflection of that in my living life.
Domains
In my personal practice and spiritual path, each of my primary bonds were built in specific ways and for different purposes, creating Domains for them.
The Mother of Souls, my Goddess, is focused on the transformations, evolution, and growth of my soul and self. This includes personal and internal transformation, boundaries, spirit work, healing/ shadow work, perspective, sovereignty, and so forth. The foundations of myself and my work.
The Father of Worlds, Ushar, is focused on how I interact with the world/ other people, community building, judgment and justice work, and things of that nature. Very community driven, how I approach and interact with it, what I create and nurture within it.
The Guardians of the Temple do have a guardian aspect to them, but their primary role is in magical/ritual work. They each contribute specific boosts and power to the work, while containing it in a protected space as I am weaving those threads together, and then carriers it outward when I am done.
My Ancestors though have a different role. As my Deities have roles that ultimately are for beyond myself, my Ancestors are all about me, my personal life. Ancestral Soul is unique because it is the collection that is directly affected by all my choices, as it is me. It has more vested interest in me than any other bond I have because in death I will be blended into it. It can only help me with what it already possesses though, and from a knowledge and skill type of standpoint. My blood ancestors however are different.
Blood Ancestors
Blood Ancestors are ones connected to me through bonds of familiar energy of blood. Because my DNA carries parts of their DNA, it creates a “like energy” type of bond. Some are part of my Ancestral Soul, but the majority are not – because that family tree is massive. Not just direct lines, but all those smaller interconnections and off shoots, generation after generation, depending on which were passed specifically to me and connected in that “like energy.” I also don’t have that “like energy” with all those in my family tree, some are dropped because each parent only passes some. That half varies for each each child born. It is why siblings with the same parents get different DNA results.
Blood Ancestors do not have the same direct stake in our lives as Ancestral Soul does, but they can if we intentionally build bonds with them. These are the ones I am focusing on in this article and the ones who have been tapping their feet at me.
Ancestral Bond
I have several different Blood Ancestors that I have intentionally developed close bonds with over the years. My 4 Ozark Women, who are my 2nd-5th great-grandmothers in my material line, Adeliza, and several others. Each of them has told me stories about their lives, given me deeper understandings and perspectives on certain topics, and has assisted me in many direct workings concerning my own life.
They are connected to me, but are forces beyond me. They have different abilities and agency that come in very handy, especially in spell work and life aspects. The relationship of exchange is very similar to the one I have with other spirits and my Deities – I get something I want and they get something they want. The most important of which is spending time with them. Talking to them, listening to their stories, baking certain things (it is the aroma that seems to be their goal here), and being able to have an active role in my work.
My Failings
I have been sorely slacking at this on my side the last couple of months. This really started to come through loud and clear as I was rearranging and then the conversation with them this morning. Looking back I can see all the subtle clues and hints, and if we are being honest, some big neon signs – but I was too hyper focused in one area to see clearly. Tunnel vision happens.
Unlike my Deities, Hearing my blood ancestors requires me to focus myself in that direction. It is odd and I am not sure why it is different for them, but definitely something I will be asking later. None the less, I have some bond healing to do where they are concerned.
First, I’ll be making a breakfast cake and filling the house with cooking smells. Food always seems to be a good start. Next, I will rearrange how I am currently working my time to ensure they have opportunities everyday to converse. I will light their candle every day to welcome them in. Lastly, a prayer of honoring and surrendering – Time to humble myself a little and give them recognition for the large role they have come to play in my life.
This is the prayer I will be using:
From Blood to Bone – Roots are grown
From memory and knowledge – I pay homage
What was and what is – creates what will be
Make yourself known – Let yourself be seen
Blood of my Blood, I call upon you now
In my hour of need, show me how
To move and weave – that which I need
We all make mistakes. We all get consumed at times and lose sight of important things. Guilt isn’t going to fix it though – owning it and correcting it will. I messed up and it’s time to make amends.
Not All – But Some
I don’t work with or invite all my blood ancestors. I do not have an intentional bond with all of them, and to be honest there are some shady and scary ones that I have encountered. This is for the ones I currently have that kind of relationship with. The ones that have shown up and worked for this bond just as I have – exchange is an important foundational aspect for me.
If you are just getting started with ancestor work, may I offer a few helpful suggestions that helped me:
1. Don’t worry about knowing their name – they will eventually tell you. Start with an open invitation “Blood of my Blood, the ones who want to help me heal, grow, and succeed in this life, I welcome you to make yourself known (or I invite you into this space).” In my experience, the dead really like smells for whatever reason. So perhaps some fresh baked bread, nice desert smelling candle, or put on a simmer pot to help draw them in. Make it something you like though, as that will draw ones you resonate with.
2. Set up some type of altar space for them. It doesn’t have to be fancy, big, or have a lot of stuff on it. Make it cozy though, something inviting. Now others may disagree with me here, but I feel a candle is a must (real or electric). The light is like a beacon, and cultures all around the world have been lighting fires in remembrance of the dead in some form or fashion. Get creative!
3. Talk to them. Tell them about your day, anything you are struggling with, share fun stories with them, and so forth. Talk out loud with your voice. They are a spirit outside of you, not in your head. Then give some silent time to listen, to feel, to notice with your Soul’s senses (psychic senses). This is not only good from a bonding perspective but also for helping to develop your soul senses more.
4. If you work with tarot – ask them to “tell you a story about them.” I have written about this several different times and different techniques you can use.
5. Make space for them in your practice and your life. Make some dedicated time just for them. It doesn’t have to be daily – but should be at least a couple of times a week in my opinion.
6. When you are cooking something – anything – use that time to invite them in, chat with them, or just focus your energy their direction.
7. Don’t get hung up on figuring out who it is, knowing a specific name, calling to one specifically, or anything like that in the beginning. Allow who wants to come, come. The ones who want to help you with your magic or your life goals. The ones who want to be part of your Spirit Family. Get to know them as they come. If you pigeon hole it, then you may not get the ones who truly want to be there. There is also a problem of calling in those who are still doing their Well work – but that is a whole other topic.
8. Above all, have fun with it! Think outside the box. Experiment and find what feels right to you. My suggestions are based on my own experiences and what I have found to be the most effective for me. Find what is most effective for you.
Do you work with ancestors?
Do you have other tips or suggestions that might be helpful to those just starting down this road?
What is one really meaningful thing in your own practice with ancestors?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
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