The Dark Side of Breast-Feeding

Oh, man I have been out of it since 3, 4am last Thursday night.  I woke up freezing my tush off to what I thought was a broken heater, but what ended up being a bad case of Mastitis (a breastfeeding infection) accompanied by a 103 fever, chills, aches, shakes, headache & engorgement.

I had been very achy for at least 3 days since last Tuesday, but here I thought I was doing such a good job working out lately! 🙂 Dave & I even had a conversation about whether or not I was getting enough protein.  I was also very engorged for a few days but I assumed that was the result of my drastic night weaning in the past two weeks.  All the signs were there really and I was just too daft to pay attention.

Oh, how I wish I would have. Then I wouldn’t have wound up looking like this.  Now don’t go re-posting this awful picture of me, I wouldn’t want it spreading across the internet. 😉

So, for the past two days I have been laying around, using a warm compress, popping Tylenol and antibiotics, sleeping & trying to keep my head up–literally.  If I sat up straight for too long, I’d get light headed followed by a throbbing head-ache.

The irony of it all?  The last three nights were the first nights Rhys slept all the way through with no feedings, no paci and no crying!  Unfortunately, I was still awake from 4am – 7am feeling miserable, needing to express breast milk and being unable to fall back asleep due to swiveling between night sweats and being freezing cold.

I am convinced, however, my pay off is coming soon!  Perhaps tonight I’ll feel better enough to sleep the whole night and my little Reesey-Bear will follow suit.  Now, if I feel better and sleep and he wakes up I think I’ll just start screaming out of frustration.

I have wondered that if my lack of sleep in general in the past 2-3 weeks has left my body so weakened that I could develop something like this in the first place.  I never had this when I was nursing our 1st son, Ransom.  Mastitis is definitely the dark side of breast feeding.

May it be banished from all women for all eternity.

The nice thing about being sick, not sleeping, but still needing to be lying flat is of course: watching movies!

I saw:

All About Steve – cute, funny, mildly entertaining.  It was just okay, but I did love Sandra Bullock in the role.  She’s pretty much great in every movie she does regardless of it’s crappiness.  I’d give it a B+ & a chick flick rating.

My Sisters Keeper – For all that is good in the world, please don’t watch this movie if your all ready feeling sad and sick.  Maybe the saddest film ever!  I can’t remember the last film that I cried 6 times in!  Very good, touching, inspiring but doggone it’s a sad movie.

The Hangover – Dave & I have wanting to see this for for-ever.  I thought is was pretty funny, not like bust a gut funny, but you know a good laugh.  Dave gave it a “eh” rating.  It was no Pienapple Express -in which I laughed so hard I cried.  This movie did, however, serve as a good pick-me-up in the middle of my breastfeeding misery.  The only thing I didn’t like was the excessive use of the “F” word.  It’s like so unoriginal & ignorant.  It’s almost like some movies think the more they use the “F” word the funnier it will be…but it ends up being extremely lame.  So, that kind of ruined it for me.

Anyway, in the middle of all my drama, I had started taking out my braids.  With zero energy to complete the job, I’ve been walking around for 2.5 days with a half my head in an afro & the other half in messy braids that I cut short with my hair sticking out.  I have been a hot mess!  Today, Dave & I had to negotiate who gets to shower and do our hair when.

Here’s to being able to sit up today, blogging & making myself some macaroni and cheese! 🙂  Unfortunately, when Dave visited emergency care yesterday he found out he has acute pharingitis.  He’s in a lot of pain & is extremely contagious.

Rough weekend, eh?  I hope this doesn’t come off sounding trite or like a last minute thought but despite some of the challenges of this past week, the difficult talks Dave & I have been pushing through and the stress I’m feeling about work deadlines: I still believe in the goodness of the Lord.