Everyday Black Matters
Ok y’all so I am getting to be a chunk.
An official chunk. And I haven’t been able to get myself motivated to lose the chunk, even though I see pictures of myself and think, “holy mother of tub, I am wide as outside.”
There are three profoundly sad things about my being a chunk monster right now and neither are the fact that I am actually overweight:
1) The fact that I’ve felt less worthy, which is understandable given that I’m an American woman with (quite shocking) images of photoshopped women on the runway, and in every ad all around me. Understandable, but depressing nonetheless.
2) Nearly 12 weeks post-partum with R2 –who just turned two years old– I was down to my pre-preggo weight of 162. At 5′ 6″ weighing in at a whopping 185 means I’ve packed on 23 pounds in a little less than TWO FLIPPIN YEARS. Yes, I’ve struggled with clinical depression, and yes, I’m still adjusting to two kiddo’s, and yes, I travel a bit for my job, but still. At this rate I’ll be over 300 pounds by 2015. Ay ay ay.
3) Everyday I wake up and wonder what I can wear to hide my flub, which means I’m not enjoying my cute outfits. Sigh.
In light of all this sadness, I decided to address at least one of my issues. One must start somewhere, eh?
Pinterest has inspired me to enjoy my (EXTRA) curves while I’ve got them. There’s lots of big girls out there dressing to their size, why the heck shouldn’t I? Why must I be banished to over-sized sweatshirts and stretchy, work-out, yoga pants every. single. day?!?!
So. Here we go. I’ve been extremely hesitant to go there with ‘the belted cardi look’ because all my flab rests solely on my waist making me look consistently 5 months pregnant with giant, milk-filled ta-ta’s. But, I realized I was belting too high and with the wrong type of shirts. Either too short, too maternity-wear looking, or too tight.
Here’s the two looks I was inspired by, courtesy of my “Fashion Dahling” Pinboard on Pinterest of course…
My Look:
green tank underneath
long, racer-back Maurice’s tank top (which I found at a Goodwill for $2) =)
Old Navy, XS, lime green, fuzzy cardi (you may be wondering why on God’s green earth anything in my closet is an XS? It’s because my fashionable friend, Sharry gave it to me with hords of other cool stuff, and she, my friends IS extra small).
Old Navy Skinny’s
Dark brown, braided belt
Dark brown, cowboy-ish, distressed leather, mid-calf, Target boots.
Necklace, Meijer clearance rack.
(I couldn’t fit my outfit and my head in the same shot, laugh out loud)
Dark green scarf, T.J. Maxx (where you get the max for the minimum)
Dark green, Faded Glory jacket from WalMart last season for $5. Yep, $5. In fact, I was so enamored with it I bought one for my friend Jessica too. I didn’t “get it” when I bought it, but now I “get it,” and it’s so cute. =)
Dark brown hoop earrings, again Meijer clearance.
Totally off topic. Below, I ran my pic through a new iphone photography app called “Dynamic Light.”
The pic below I made by manipulating that same photo through an iphone photgraphy app called “Grungetastic.”
Finally, I tried the iphone app, “Pixlromatic” for the red effect below.
(In case you hadn’t noticed I got the iphone 4s which boasts of an 8 MexaPixel camera, so I’ve been dying to try all these cool photo apps)!
By the way, tangent about my iphone over.
Soooooooooo, the moral of the story is, I’ll start here. Right here, with fashion where I feel most at home. I’ll start trying to dress my bigger body and maybe somehow that will motivate me to drop these extra 40-ish pounds.
What about you? Any of you stuck in a chunk-monster rut?
Anyone else dressing to cover themselves up because of some weird notion of shame surrounding a bit’o’chunk?
Anyone else wanting to join me in trying to get healthy? =)
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