In the past few months I’ve told you how I’m a chunk monster, how Pinterest inspired me to lose weight, how my first real work out in a over a year made me feel like a god among ALL women and how I’m an un-tameable sexy beast now that I’ve done a total of six work outs…since 01.01.2012.

I need something concrete, how about you?

We all know there’s a gajillion reasons we should get our chunky butt’s off the couch.  Besides treating depression, improving mood, getting better sleep, reducing the risk of heart attack or heart disease, gaining energy & HAVING BETTER SEX (hello?!?) there’s that eensy-teensy reason called…ahem, weight-loss.

As I thought about making some obnoxious weight loss goal to fit into an obnoxiously tiny bathing suit this summer, my first thought was,”screw it,” I’d rather be fat.

But on December 30, 2011 I turned a whopping thirty-five years old and realized half my life was over.  Also, we got family pictures taken.  I could see my fat poking out of every crevice: neck, arms, belly, ginormo-boobs.  There was no bodily area unscathed from my rapid weight gain of 2011.

Honestly, I thought, “who IS that?”  I don’t look like myself, y’all.  Sigh.

Double or thriple chin, anyone? In all honesty, I’m wearing two girdles & a breast binding bra! (Well, you can’t blame me for trying to hold that junk in).  Photo Credit: Brian Wolfe

(FYI: you can see all the  fatty fatterson family pics here.)

I’m “one of those,” who’s tried almost everything…Atkins, Body for Life, Tae-Bo, running, swimming, marathoning.  They all work at getting healthy and I’ve lost weight with all of them, but I’ve never stuck to any of them consistently past meeting my goal.

Atkins diet was DASTARDLY UNREASONABLE for the long-term.

Body for Life’s work-outs were OBNOXIOUS & OBTRUSIVE.

Tae-Bo is AMAZING, but a) has no diet plan & b) can get boring when you only have 3-5 different video’s.

Swimming, running & marathoning are awesome, each done in moderation.

(And when I say “marathoning” I mean UNO marathon: once-in-a-lifetime is ENOUGH for me.

I know I need something long-term.  Something will allow me to eat these at least once a month…

…cinnamon-sugar crusted coffee cake muffins, oreo cookie cupcakes & mint oreo truffles…

 Additionally, I need a long-term plan to have consistent, yet varied work-outs…for the rest of my God-given life.

So. I decided to do away with a ‘goal for 2012.’

Screw 2012.

I’m getting healthy for 2021.

photo credit: it’s all me, baby. Courtesy of the now-dying, Picnik. (SO SAD).

Weight loss, rock star abs and perky boobs in and of themselves just aren’t good enough reasons to get healthy.  Wanting to be around for my boys for as long as I can hold out, are great reasons and actual motivators. If we only work hard to get bikini-ready, were more likely to give up and forget that the only thing we are readying ourselves for is a giant casket.

Are ya with me?  Ya down with screwing 2012 & holding out for 2021?

Here’s my plan:

1.  I decided to try Weight Watcher’s online until at least December 2012.  I’ll give the whole program a good, long year.  I dunno know, maybe it was the Jennifer Hudson ads, but they have roped me in!  Plus, I’m paying $18/month which ups the ante.  I refuse to waste my own hard-earned $18/month.

2.  Within that plan, I’m trying to eat 5 veggies/fruit servings a day, 5 glasses of water, 3 servings of dairy (lactose-free, fat free), milk, yougurt, etc….and learning how to eat balanced and healthy.

3. I’m planning to do something/anything to work out at least 5 days a week, and no more than 6 days a week.  Since I can poke my eyes out with copious amounts of work-out boredom, I’m going to try all the video offerings on Netflix, run outside if it’s above 50 degrees, use my Nike Training iphone app, various episodes of Exercise TV that I bought on itunes, playing the Just Dance games on the Wii & using Wii fit.  As it gets warmer I’ll add walks to daycare & R1’s school, swimming, hiking with the fam and other outdoorsy offerings.  The goal is 5 days a week of something!

And that’s it!  I’m a busy Mama working 20-30 hrs. a week, traveling 1-2 times a month, writing a book & maintaining this here blog.  I need simple & I need a system that always works no matter where I’m at.  I LOVE that Weight Watchers has the app available on my iphone to not only track eating & work-outs, but gives ideas for what to eat at various restaurants while traveling.

I’m feeling very, very hopeful that this will work for me.

Today, I had my hubs take my ‘before’ pics while I was holding a sign that read…

“Jan. 23, 2012 / 181 pounds / screw 2012.”

After I looked at the picture I realized that, even I –the over-sharer-her-self– could not YET share that picture. Whoa.

But I will take one each month and when I get down to my goal weight of 135ish, I’ll post all of them.  Promise.  If I do lose 51 pounds, I want to do it slowly at no more than 2 pounds a week, getting me at my goal in about 30 weeks from now: September 2012.

Every time I work out, I’m going to post to my Twitter, using the #Screw2012 hashtag.

When you work out, post using the #Screw2012 hashtag & I promise you I will reply back with an online encouragement hug!

For more participation fun goodness, I decided to create a blog-hop —maybe even cute lil baby tee’s— to encourage myself and hopefully you to screw 2012’s “summer body” and get healthy for 2021.

You can grab the 125 x 125 “Screw 2012” button on my sidebar

Use Linky Tools below to link to your blog if you want to participate in the official #screw2012 bloghop!

I’m Excited,